The innocence of children ...

[Terry Casey]

When our daughter was very young, someone asked her one day what she wanted Father Christmas to bring her for Christmas.

Looking a little surprised, she answered "Cwismuss pwesence!"

Ask a silly question ...

[Scott]

Friend of mine asked his son what the dog said to him. He looked surprised and replied 'Woof'.

He also asked A on a train: 'What kind of train is that, daddy?'. A replied, 'Virgin'. Son replied loudly, 'Daddy, have you ever been on a virgin?', to the amusement of the other passengers.

[ARW]

When I was married (a bit of a whirlwind marriage) to an au pair we took the girl she looked after to McDonalds.

Girl at the top of her voice "Pavla why did you marry Adam and not Daniel? Daniel has got two kittens". The woman on the table next to us nearly pissed herself.

[Chris Hogg]

I saw a greetings card recently on the display in a supermarket. It had a quote from a six-year-old, who was asked where she'd like to spend her birthday. 'Buckingham Palace' was the reply, 'to see the Queen's private parts'.

[GB]

When my daughter was little, she was seriously ill. When she saw the paediatrician, he chatted to her:

"How old are you?"

"Nearly free."

"Oh, when will you be three?"

"On my birfday!".

Next time they met:

"How old are you?"

"Free."

"Oh, when were you three?"

"On my birfday!".

[fred]

sweet shop owner

"and what age are you little boy ?"

"Fuck off and mind your own business "

Strue

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

Sadly, you cannot say that any more., no virgin trains. Brian

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

That is the old trying to sound grown up syndrome. Only the words used have changed over the years. I seem to recall some Bernie Taupin lyrics to a song called Supercool, where a young teen bloke as doing all that donky jive to sound older to a girl almost twice his age. Kiki Dee did a good Job on the vocal. Brian

[Max Demian]

You can still rent a flat that has "Virgin included".