Sounds Like Something Off of Sky ...

Or "When Simple Jobs Go Bad" :-)

Siphon unit failed in the ladies bog in one of our cafes. Don't worry, said I. Simple job. Stick an "Out of Order" sign on the door, and I'll fix it on Sunday! Oh, how I should've known ...

So I went to B&Q and got a new Siphon, and then went to do the job, armed with all the right tools - hammer, chisels, angle grinder - all the usual plumbing stuff :-) The cistern was pumped out with my handy 12v pump, and the old Siphon removed in a jiffy. The down pipe came up far enough into the cistern such that it couldn't be pressed down enough to get the securing nut, washer and coupling nut off of it. The cistern was secured to the wall with four rusty screws, so they weren't coming out, were they ? No probs, I thought cheerfully. I can just re-use the existing nut and coupling, so I dropped the new siphon in and started to screw up the nut. It went about one and a half turns, then just tightened on the threads. Had I got it x-threaded ? Had I f*+! ...

So I'm guessing imperial versus metric. Two of the cistern securing screws came out. The other two's heads disintegrated into a pile of rust. Not enough to grab with the Moles of course. Much hammering and chiseling later, I got the third screw smashed up enough to get the cistern to pull off it. A quick undoing of the overflow, and I was able to swing the cistern up enough to get the down pipe to clear its bottom enough to get the old nuts and washer off. On went the ones from the new siphon. The cistern was swung back down over the pipe, and refixed with a couple of shiny new screws from the toolbox. In went the new siphon again, and this time, the nut screwed all the way up nice and easily. I pulled it up as tight as it would go by hand, and using a cloth. I figured that as there was a new soft washer on the bottom of the siphon, that was going to be enough. Why do these silly thoughts go through your head ? When the water was turned back on, it of course leaked. No amount of further hand tightening or swearing, would make it stop.

So I told the missus that I needed a pair of large adjustable jaw grips - don't know the proper name, but the sort of thing where you open them right up and move the lower jaw in a sliding slot. She said that the job had to be done, so I'd better go and get some. I told her that they weren't going to be cheap, but she said, understandingly, that she was sure that they would be of use in the future ! So, back to B&Q. And had they got anything big enough ? No, of course not. So I ended up shelling out eight quid for a Boa strap wrench. What a mistake that turned out to be. Pony-est tool I've ever used ...

Managed, after a struggle, to get the nut up another 3/4 turn. And still it leaked. By now, we're two hours into a 10 minute job, and the air isn't just blue, it's like the Northern Lights. In the end, I finished up tearing the whole cistern off the wall, and bringing it home. With the siphon out, you could see that there were two sets of 'bumps' moulded into the cistern bottom, which originally engaged with two tabs on the old siphon. The original sealing washer had a small enough diameter to fit inside these, and the diameter of the original siphon's foot matched that of the washer. The new siphon had a bigger foot, so accordingly, a bigger washer. Big enough to sit on the tops of those bumps, so it was never going to seal, was it ?

I finished up grinding off the bumps, then silicone rubbering the sealing washer both sides, filling the small gap between the exit pipe's thread and the hole in the cistern, wrapping the threads in ptfe tape, and then squibbing a bit more silicone rubber around the outside of the cistern, before screwing the nut up to eye-watering tightness.

Yes, before everyone starts howling that you shouldn't seal things like this with silicone rubber, I know, but I don't bloody care ... !!

Arfa

Reply to
Arfa Daily
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We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "Arfa Daily" saying something like:

It never is. Always need a smear of goop.

Reply to
Grimly Curmudgeon

That is the problem when you volunteer to do a simple job.

Reply to
John

Yup. I always use LS-X especially when the instructions say "sealant is not required".

Reply to
The Medway Handyman

Arfa Daily wrote: With the siphon out, you could see that there were two sets of

Liberal amount of LS-X & job sorted.

Reply to
The Medway Handyman

Too many letters in that one Dave ! Enlighten me ...

Arfa

Reply to
Arfa Daily

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on which you were referring to, I though everyone knew the former?

Reply to
Andy Burns

Ah ! OK. That honestly never occurred to me ... :-)

Arfa

Reply to
Arfa Daily

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