OT - Xmas Shopping

[Doctor Drivel]

Maxie, I think you are fabulous! Fabulous. Maxie. Yes, he is. Maxie knows things.

[mike]

Dragging this back to towards Christmas songs...

Noddy Holder goes to a tailor's to buy a new suit. Having found a suit he likes, the tailor tries to sell him some accessories.

Tailor: Kipper tie, sir?

Noddy: Don't mind if I do, Milk and two sugars, please.

[Tim S]

Doctor Drivel coughed up some electrons that declared:

I've got 25m of speedfit tube and a hacksaw. Would it help you to calm down, you know, something therapeutic to do with your hands?

I'd donate it for the greater good :)

[T i m]

Thanks Tim that really made me laugh (and thanks for the offer!).

Visions of Dribble sat on the floor in his dank basement flat, on his own, draped with a few scruffy strands of tinsel and muttering to himself whilst surrounded by several hundred short lengths of speedfit! ;-)

Priceless!

T i m

[clumsy bastard]

"the greatest Christmas record ever" £100 from some sellers!

[clumsy bastard]

which is what you traditionally did at the solstice before the Christians highjacked it?

[Dave Plowman (News)]

I'd visualised him in a one bedroom flat near the top of some run down tower block - head in the clouds.

[Doctor Drivel]

Please eff off as you a drunken idiot Jocko plantpot.

[T i m]

What *one* traditionally did possibly yes.

I don't know why but I'm not moved by 'tradition' or ceremony. We don't really 'do' birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc etc here. Partly because we just can't be bothered and partly because we don't need 'excuses' to do stuff (like have a beer or buy a present).

We even got married during our lunchtime at work ... romantic or what! ;-)

Cheers, T i m

[Tim Downie]

Oooo, I was right behind you until the last bit. I think marriage more than any other event benefits from a decent bit of ceremony and making your vows before you family, friends and whatever deity you might believe in. (Flying spaghetti monster etc.)

The other Tim

[geoff]

... mopping up the wet patches with the used tissues festooning the floor, making paper chains out of back issues of heating and plumbing monthly and pushing his matchbox prius around his newly created skidpad making broom broom noises

[geoff]

In message , T i m writes

Yullie, as a moslem, goes mad at xmas cards, decorations, food the works

I have to say, as an evangelical atheist, I pr3efer Idul Fitri (the end of Ramadan) which is all about going around visiting people and simple presents like rice in coconut leaves

not just a bloatfest to the gods of excess

I hate nothing more than the contrived new years party

humbug humbug

[Clot]

Do you have to? Pass me one of those tissues, the screen is a mess.

[Doctor Drivel]

Maxie you are fabulous. What a man! Have you ordered your new frock for Christmas? Polka-dot? Fantastic. Amazing. You do things is such style Maxie. Such style.

[T i m]

;-)

Hmmm. Both of us had been there done that before and basically lied (to the Flying Spaghetti Monster as it happens) as it wasn't 'till death us do part'?

Current wife and I got married on the advice of our solicitor. We were thinking about having kids and 'Marriage (as a legal construct) was the easiest way of making sure all parties had the right rights and obligations re a child. Having the bit of paper, a ceremony or making promises in front of *anyone* shouldn't (IMHO) force two people to stay together if they really shouldn't. Likewise it will make no difference if two people want to be together. I don't look at my wife as 'my wife' but my partner, the person I chose to share my life with. If either of us want out it should be OUR decision and we should be able to divide the estate in a way we both (as sensible adults) see fit. [1].

For me, personally, marriage is like road tax on your car. It can be expensive, can be complicated to arrange, traditionally needs interaction every year and doesn't actually make your car go any better.

AN other Tim? (we also have Tim S and Tim Murphy at least) ;-)

Cheers, T i m

[1] Which is exactly how the first wife and I resolved it.

[Doctor Drivel]

What a cheapo!

[T i m]

I *prefer* not to do any of it! ;-)

I dare say it's not like that for everyone (especially those forced that way through poverty etc).

Nor me. FWIW when I do go to any such events (and it's normally friends or 'friendly family' (rather than just people who happen to be related somehow)) it's mostly because I'm (currently) the main driver in the family (and so I can't drink either) so I'm there anyway and because they all know me (and my strange ways) they find me a nice job to do, like servicing their PC's, assembling something (least year it was a flat pack CD cabinet) or fixing stuff (they warn me in advance so I can take the right tools).

The idea of sitting down watching Xmas TV or playing charades would drive me mad(er)!

It's not though is it Geoff (as we both know). I know you are a nice bloke and have helped me (and I dare say many other here and elsewhere) because you are wired that way. Many (not *all* notice) of the people who 'do' things like Christmas (with the presents etc) wouldn't piss on a tramp if he was on fire, Christmas or any other time. Goodwill to all men as long as ... etc.

Cheers, T i m

[T i m]

No, he's silly isn't he, you wouldn't make 'broom broom' noises with a Primus. It would be more like 'wee wee' wouldn't it?

And a new frock? How comes he get's an invite to one of your *special parties* and I don't!? :-(

Cheers,

A Hole. xx

[Doctor Drivel]

Maxie you are a Moslem and also an atheist?

[Doctor Drivel]

No one upstages Maxie! No doubt you will come in with a Versachi frock! One man in a frock is enough.

I provide the Dinky toys. Maxie has a pocket in his frock for his test meter.