OT How to get an apprentice to eat silicone

[ARW]

This really is a true story.

First of all you need a useless clueless waste of space.

So we are fitting some outside lights (well I am - he is not allowed to fit them and only allowed to pass tools and materials to me whilst I am on the step ladders) and I need to silicone up the cable entrance holes to the light.

He passed me the loaded silicone gun and I wet my finger so that I could spread the silicone around.

The conversation went like this

App "Urghh are you eating the silicone?" Me "Yes, it's good stuff" App "Really?" Me "Yes - I sometimes eat a full tube for dinner if I have forgotten my sandwiches - you ought to try it"

And the thick useless bastard put the nozzle in his mouth and pulled the trigger on the silicone gun.

[GB]

The poor lamb!

[Jim Stewart ...]

leading him on ...nasty ....I lika eatin' paste ......

[S Viemeister]

What did A&E say when he arrived there?

[ARW]

He was still alive when we dropped him off at home and the annoying plumbers apprentice that we stripped naked tied to a lamppost and squirted silicone up his arse 15 years ago is still alive.

[Rob H]

Where do you get people like this from....off the street?

[tony sayer]

In article <t82jso$jjk$ [e-mail], ARW snipped-for-privacy@blueyonder.c o.uk> scribeth thus

You could write a TV series around these superstars;!...

[ARW]

Schools and useless parents.

This is the future.

[Animal]

Random street people would be much better

[Jim Stewart ...]

kinky

[GB]

People actually pay to have this stuff injected into them. Bum lifts, and so on.

[The Natural Philosopher]

Oh god. Demi Rose. revolting

[soup]

Micky Flanagan (a cockney comedian) does a great skit about how the guy who announced to the careers teacher that he wanted to drive a van was a dreamer no-one in this school has ever gone on to drive a van . We produce the people who carry stuff to the van.

[ARW]

[R Souls]

Maybe he was winding you up.

[williamwright]

Nearly fell off my chair reading that! Bill

[ARW]

Two of the second year apprentices passed their driving test a couple of weeks ago.

As predicted (as they both now own cars and make their own way to work and Mummy no longer gives them a lift) one of them was late for work more times than he was on time.

[Rob H]

You need to be more selective in your choosing.

[Andrew]

Suppositories use the other end ?

[Andrew]

That was done to garage apprentice many years ago as an initiation ceremony, except that for silicone read compressed air line with the brass push-button nozzle lubed with swarfega.

He was rushed to hospital with a ruptured bowel and nearly died. Oops.