This really is a true story.
First of all you need a useless clueless waste of space.
So we are fitting some outside lights (well I am - he is not allowed to fit them and only allowed to pass tools and materials to me whilst I am on the step ladders) and I need to silicone up the cable entrance holes to the light.
He passed me the loaded silicone gun and I wet my finger so that I could spread the silicone around.
The conversation went like this
App "Urghh are you eating the silicone?" Me "Yes, it's good stuff" App "Really?" Me "Yes - I sometimes eat a full tube for dinner if I have forgotten my sandwiches - you ought to try it"
And the thick useless bastard put the nozzle in his mouth and pulled the trigger on the silicone gun.