It Snowed Last Night
8:00 am: I made a snowman.8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.8:22 - The trans-gender man..woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women. I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.