What have people found is the best way of dealing with brainless teenagers who've rediscovered the childish delight in hammering on my front door (and occasionally on the window behind the curtain next to where I'm sitting typing this)? Ignoring them doesn't seem to stop them.
Move house
Pete
They're only training to be ParcelForce delivery drivers!
What's the layout? Any front garden or yard, or does it open right on to the street?
Phone the Home Secretary, and you'll have a carfull of rozzers on your doorstep pdq. Well, it worked for Kimberley...
David
On Tue, 15 Feb 2005 18:27:52 +0000, "dave @ stejonda" strung together this:
Shoot the bastards.
Horrible prickly shrub that the local bobbies advised me to plant. Pyro... something or other. Nasty. PIR lights? They also don't like cameras, or what they think to be cameras :-)
Burglaris Disembowelis ;-)
Pyracantha ...
Pyrotecnics? Claymore mine. Nasty.
Pyrophoric. Wonderful plant for discouraging annoying kids. Grows wild around Avonmouth and likes a high phosphorus fertiliser.
If there's a particular time that they tend to do it you could set up a gory tableau in the hallway - dismembered body, machete, etc. and make sure that the door swings open when they knock on it. Then make sure it's all cleared away before anyone else comes to investigate. And smile at them whenever you see them.
You can't block your dor with a pyracantha ...
Mary
But they're the ones who'll be paying your pension one day...
"Rob Morley" wrote | If there's a particular time that they tend to do it you could | set up a gory tableau in the hallway - dismembered body,
which every household has somewhere conveniently to hand for moments like this.
| machete, etc. and make sure that the door swings open | when they knock on it. Then make sure it's all cleared | away before anyone else comes to investigate. | And smile at them whenever you see them.
And don't use your best machete, just in case the little gits decide to nick it.
I think opening the door and projectile vomiting (a mouthful of condensed chicken soup if you don't want to use real vomit) over them would put them off.
Owain
A hungry rottweiller!
Peter Crosland
On Tue, 15 Feb 2005 22:19:38 +0000 (GMT), "Dave Plowman (News)" strung together this:
Two responses that immediately come to mind;
1) They won't be paying anyones pension after they've been shot. 2) What, all £1.72 a week of it?
Water pistol? Quink?
While I'm here, anyone got the definitive method of restoring "egged" glass?
Cheers,
Bloody well can, a0susming you don't want to use it again..
I've ahd another thought.
Rig some enormously high power loudspeaker - exterior grade super power stuff - to a button by the PC, and just HIT it when they come again.
I mean serious 130dB siren type stuff.
Then remove it and put in mates lockup.
If they retirn and it starts over, come back here again.
I fiond the same calss of behaviour in the supermarket. Odious two year old puts tongue out at me when parents back is turned. I am not pleasant to look at anyway, and I can pull faces that scare two year olds half out of their wits.
Last one was still screaming to his bemused mother when I left.
The important thing is not to behave as expected. Be wild, scary, mysterious and threatening, whilst never doing anything that can be proved against you or leaves any visible mark.
Cut out all the government middle-man bit. Chain 'em up in the basement and have your very own home-help gimp.
HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.