Found it - I also remembered I scanned it as the original was in
microscopic print on a rather crude A5 sized leaflet. The scanned and
tidied files are about 20M in total (pdf's). It's probably easier to
stick them on a CD and post them if you e-mail me the address or I can
send them to your Demon address as I don't think Demon limit e-mail
Like all good Chinese devices the instructions require some
interpretation as they bear only a passing resemblance to the
equipment. The mounting frame for example which was supplied had
measurements which corresponded to half of one sort in the manual and
half of another! It helps to hold them upside down and drink a lot
before trying to understand them.
Tell me about it!! I spent yesterday evening poring over a chinglish
manual for a TECO single to 3 phase inverter. Multiple translation
mistakes building confusion on confusion.
Such a contrast to the excellent Siemens documentation for the models I
Coming fresh to it this morning with a couple of "I wonder if they
meant" attempts and the motor is running and doing what I tell it!
My favourite translation (well if you exclude the manual that came with
my first dot matrix printer), was from an Opera programme:
"Back in 1981, the Genoa Opera Company put on a production of Bizet's
Carmen. For the tourists in the audience, they translated the program
into English. Here's an excerpt of what they printed, courtesy of the BRI*
"Carmen, a cigarmakeress from a tobago factory loves Don Jose of the
mounting guard. Carmen takes a flower from her corsets and lances it to
Don Jose. (Duet: 'Talk me of my mother.') There was a noise inside the
tobago factory and revolting cigarmakeresses burst unto the stage.
Carmen is arrested and Don Jose is ordered to mounting guard on her but
she subduces him and lets her escape."
"The tavern. Carmen sings (Aria: 'The sistrums tinkling.') Enter two
smugglers. ('Ho, we have a mind in business.') Enter Escamillo, a Balls
fighter. Carmen refuses to penetrate because Don Jose has liberated her
from prison. He just now arrives. (Aria: 'Slop here who comes.') But
here are the bugles singing his retreat. Don Jose will leave and draws
his sword. Called by Carmen's shrieks the two smugglers interfere with
her. Jose is bound to dessert. Final Chorus: 'Opening Sky Wandering Life.'"
"A rocky landscape. Smugglers chatter. Carmen sees her death in the
cards. Don Jose makes a date with her for the next Balls fight."
"A place in Seville. Procession of Ballsfighters. The roaring of balls
is heard in the arena. Escamillo enters (Aria and chorus: 'Toreador.
Toradeor. All hail the Balls of a Toreador.') Enter Don Jose (Aria: 'I
besmooch you.') Carmen repells him. She wants to join Escamillo now
chaired by the crowd. Don Jose stabbs her. (Aria: 'Oh, rupture,
rupture.') He sings: 'Oh, my seductive Carmen.'''
*Bathroom Readers Institute"
I doubt it. I used to do translations for pharmaceutical companies from
Shiteglish to English as she is spoke. I offered my services to a number
of Malayan, Chinese and Japanese companies and got told that they didn't
really care if the English was bad.
Hmm, I can recall one from a boiler in the 1970s that had an instruction
to "Ensure that the gland is most firmly pressed into the material. In
the even not pressed hard enough continue pressing until spurts. If
spurts considerable wipe off. And repeat pressing until exhausted."
Anyway, who can forget Zero Wing?
Outside Ship - An explosion occurs.
Captain: "What happen ?"
Mechanic: "Somebody set up us the bomb."
Close-Up of Excited Communications Officer
Operator: "We get signal."
Captain: "What !"
Operator: "Main screen turn on."
Captain: "It's you !!"
Close up of CATS
CATS: "How are you gentlemen !!"
CATS: "All your base are belong to us."
CATS: "You are on the way to destruction."
<Close up of captain & CATS>
Captain: "What you say !!"
CATS: "You have no chance to survive make your time."
CATS: "Ha ha ha ha ...."
Close up of Forlorn Captain
Operator: "Captain !!"
Ship's Bridge (ZIGs on monitors)
Captain: "Take off every 'ZIG'!!"
Shows a ZIG pilot powering up
Captain: "You know what you doing."
Shows a ZIG moving into launch position
Captain: "Move 'ZIG'."
ZIGs on monitors, Bridge Explodes
Captain: "For great justice."
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