Every winter I buy at least one ice scraper for the car. Usually several
of them. And over the years I've learned to not buy the real cheap ones
because they always break. I spend a couple bucks more and get one
that's at least halfway durable. I use them all winter.
Then comes Spring, and Summer, and eventually comes Fall, and on into
Winter, and the rains turn to ice and snow, and I reach and hunt and rip
my car apart, and there is no ice scraper anywhere to be found anywhere!
Where the F**
K do they go?
I now think this is a conspiracy. During the warm weather months, the
stores send people to our cars, to collect all the ice scrapers we
bought from them. They gather each and every ice scraper in each and
every car. Then they put new price tags on them, and resell them the
following Winter. There just is no other explanation where they go....
Unless they are designed to vanish or turn to a state of vapor when the
temperature rises, or when sunlight hits them for more than 7 hours in a
day. Could this be true????
We just had an ice storm, which turned to snow, and ......
Where Oh Where did all MY Ice Scrapers go.... AGAIN ???
(Just like last Winter and the Winter before and the one before that,
and so on).
- VANISHED INTO THE AIR, NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN! -
I learned years ago that a metal putty knife can scratch a windshield,
So, I had to use a block of 2x4 and the plastic handle on a hair brush
in order to clear my windshield well enough, so I could drive to the
store to buy ANOTHER Ice Scraper!
"JINGLE BELLS" SONG (Subtitled: "Winter Sucks")
JINGLE BELLS. JINGLE BELLS. CUSSING ALL THE WAY. WINTER SUCKS AND IS
NO FUN, EVEN THE HORSE CRAWLED UNDER THE SLEIGH.....
JINGLE BELLS. JINGLE BELLS. CUSSING ALL THE WAY. I THINK IT'S TIME
TO MOVE TO FLORIDA, BUT THE TRUCK IS STUCK IN A DRIFT.
JINGLE BELLS. JINGLE BELLS. CUSSING ALL THE WAY. NOW I KNOW WHY
BEARS HIBERNATE AND I THINK I'LL JUST GO JOIN EM'.
Jingle jingle jingle.... sno snow snowre snore snore snorrrre......