Water system mess up

I made a bad decision on my water system a couple of years ago. I had the existing system which (among other things) consisted of a nitrate tank requiring no back flush and used an inline canister filter just before this tank (and water softener, etc). I thought that eliminating the filter and the need to keep track of filters / filter cost warrented the removal of this nitrate tank and the installation of a back flush type. I was told that the back flush would only use about 70 gallons of water per week. So...I had it installed for 1400 bucks. Well, it's noisy enough to wake me up at night and it uses a hell of a lot more water than 70 gal. I don't want to set it for daytime back flush because we are awake and may be using water elsewhere. I am on a private well and septic system so I don't want that much water being sucked out of the well and dumped straight into the septic system. Combine that with the water softener back flush and it's even more water. So I disconnected the electrical from all back flush systems to turn disable them and reinstalled 2 inline filter canisters just before the water treatment tanks. The problem with this is that the old nitrate tank, because it was designed not to back flush, was an up flow model. This up flow would keep the stuff inside the tank from settling too much and becoming hard. The new nitrate tank, being designed to back flush, is a down flow model. It's the process of the back flush that stirs up the inside stuff to keep it from hardening. Obviously, it no longer has this function.
What options do I have? Will the water softener be harmed by lack of back flush? I know the new nitrate tank will be harmed but in what way? Will it cause the water to be haserdous to drink? I need to be pointed in a correct direction here before I screw anything else up.
Advice is greatly appreciated.
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