From another news group:
--- begin quote
"Two live diamondback rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona movie theater
during a showing of the new film "Snakes on a Plane," according to Local 6
I'm here to tell you, if *I'M* in the "Snakes" movie and some fuckin'
rattler starts buzzin' under MY seat, there's gonna be one hell of a lot of
holes in the goddamn furniture, along with the smell of cordite and much
yelling, screaming, and out-loud praying! And if I ever CATCH the
sonofabitch that released the reptiles, he's gonna be in three different
Years ago, somebody tossed a four-foot rubber snake in my lieutenant's car
while his car was being gassed up. The lieutenant bailed, drew both his
.357s and blew the shit out of the patrol car's front seat. Also took out
the transmission, two windows, and the door. Those on the scene said it was
funnier than the night the cat learned to open the gerbil's cage... except
for the lieutenant of course. After destroying the patrol car, the
lieutenant slowly turned (it was said) to the would-be joker. The only sound
that could be heard was click-click-click... as the hammers continued to
fall on empty cylinders.
There ARE those of us who are not, shall we say, "fond" of s-creatures.
------- end quote
Good grief! What do they give you guys batons for? Life has acquainted
me well with a few people who carry badges and guns .. scary. One of
them gleefully described "the most awesome motorcycle accident I have
ever witnessed", in which his partner was hit by car, bounced off SECOND
STORY level of a building and caved in the side of a parked car with his
rather large body. Walked away with a bit of a limp. One can face down
bad guys in dark buildings at night, alone, but fainted having one
suture put in a very small cut on his finger :o)
I was about to pick up a fake spider once, because I knew someone who
delighted in my fear of s-creatures and had played on my fear too many
times. Fortunately the critter moved just as I was about to pick it up.
"We serve and protect when we f------ feel like it."
Gotta go clean the coffee off my monitor screen :o)
Ah, this was before "batons" and "Tasers" and "rubber bullets" and all that
other silliness. One guy I knew DID carry a cattle-prod, but it was more for
fun than anything else.
Admittedly, cops have a finely-honed sense of humor, not universally
appreciated. One chap I know, when asked his occupation, says: "I'm in
solid-waste disposal; I'm a Houston police officer."
You gotta love the radio calls, too. My most memorable:
Dispatcher: "3501. Fight, in progress, parking lot, Joe's Place, 11350 W
Hardy. Reportedly two white females with chainsaws involved. Handle Code 3"
Dispatcher: "652 check a report of a nude, black, female running across the
Hwy 90 bridge at this time."
(two minutes pass)
Dispatcher: "652, additional information on your nude, black, female
subject. She is reportedly being pursued at this time by another female with
a knife! Handle Code 3."
Many years ago my brother put a rather long black snake in a purse, no
strings attached. Placing the purse on the edge of the main road and
hiding on our property, we waited with giggles. Sure enough here comes
a Cadillac with about four black men. The car stops past the purse.
One gets out the back, runs to grab the purse and then runs to the
car. The door slams, car goes another ten yards...brake lights come on
and all occupants bailed like a Chinese fire drill.
His "stringed purses" very funny also...bless his soul.
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