July 20, 2011
News from the AP
Passing Gas is Now Against the Law
Effective immediately. Passing Gas (in public) is Now Against the
Law. In order to solve the government deficit, the US government is
now requiring all local law enforcement officials to arrest and fine
anyone passing gas in public. The gas passer will be fined $10,000
per fart. If they can not pay the fine, they will be put in slave
prison camps, where they will spend a minimum of 15 hours per day, 7
days per week, doing hard labor for the government. They will receive
one dollar per day for their services. If the prisoner does not spend
their daily dollar, and saves all of them, they will be able to save
$10,000 in approximately 27 1/2 years. However, if they fart twice,
there is little chance of ever leaving prison during their lifetime.
It's estimated that if every public farter in the USA is fined once
per year, the national debt will be paid off in 267.8 years, as long
as the debt amount is not increased during this period of time.
Your government hard at work, keeping it's citizens alive. Without
the U.S. Government assisting the people, all Americans would have
Click to see the full signature.