Passing Gas is Now Against the Law

[jw]

July 20, 2011 News from the AP

Passing Gas is Now Against the Law

Effective immediately. Passing Gas (in public) is Now Against the Law. In order to solve the government deficit, the US government is now requiring all local law enforcement officials to arrest and fine anyone passing gas in public. The gas passer will be fined $10,000 per fart. If they can not pay the fine, they will be put in slave prison camps, where they will spend a minimum of 15 hours per day, 7 days per week, doing hard labor for the government. They will receive one dollar per day for their services. If the prisoner does not spend their daily dollar, and saves all of them, they will be able to save $10,000 in approximately 27 1/2 years. However, if they fart twice, there is little chance of ever leaving prison during their lifetime.

It's estimated that if every public farter in the USA is fined once per year, the national debt will be paid off in 267.8 years, as long as the debt amount is not increased during this period of time.

[gfretwell]

Tosh had a story last week about a kid who was thrown off a school bus for a fart. Maybe this is not to far fetched.

[HeyBub]

Best to go after the moose first.

From another group:

Now, I am not sure that as a source of flatulence the Newfoundland moose can make any claim to be in the same league as the Aussie dromedary. For the sake of all my fellow Newfoundlanders, I truly hope it is not. But it is vegetarian - eats leaves and stuff - so we know it's gassy.

"So let us take a page from progressive Australia, and put the moose to the gun for the sake of our common planet. And, incidentally, reduce the pileups on the TransCanada and minimize the threat to innocent tourists."

---- Aside: During the 1st Gulf War, a Marine was reprimanded for shooting a camel with an RPG (!).

His defense was that he was destroying an enemy vehicle. I don't recall whether the vehicle was occupied.

I think his Marine commander commended him for showing initative...