1 . Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal; someone always answers.
5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be
8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones
who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the
toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game
is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have
long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know
what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product
that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop
18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't
make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will
unscrew. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!