Thanksgiving is over, but I got this from a friend who hates turkey and wants ham for Thanksgiving. However, he was told you can NOT make stuffing in a ham.
He decided he CAN make stuffing and he WILL. This is how.....
Get yourself a frozen ham.
Take it out to the workshop. (which might also be the kitchen).
Be sure to put your dog in it's kennel before proceeding.
Insert a 6" diameter hole saw bit, and drill 2/3 of the way thru the ham. Using the tip of a chainsaw, remove that "core", and feed it to the dog. (in the kennel).
Using the same chainsaw, cut a slice off the bottom of the ham, and save that for the "flap".
Be sure to apply lots of WD40 when cutting with both the hole saw and the chainsaw....
Allow the ham to thaw.
Once thawed, fill the ham with that boxed stuff called "Turkey Stuffing" they sell at the grocery store. (DO NOT TELL ANYONE IT'S CALLED "TURKEY STUFFING").
Once the ham is stuffed, fill the top of the hole with some plaster of paris to seal the opening hole. Allow the plaster to dry.
Now, cover the plaster with that "Flap" of ham you cut. Shoot ten or a dozen drywall screws into it to keep this flap in place, using your screw gun.
OPTIONAL: Now is the time to carve your initials into the ham with your chainsaw, just for fun....
Now, set the ham on a non-flammable surface, such as sheet of diamond plate steel, or clamp it to your anvil using a very large C-clamp.
Next, it's time to bake your ham. Bake the ham with your propane weed burner or your acetylene torch on HIGH.... Baking time will vary from 10 minutes to 3 hours depending on the heat from your torch, and how many times you stop baking, so you can guzzle a beer, or chase your old lady away from your ham, and tell her to shut the f*ck up.
Enjoy your stuffed Thanksgiving ham!