Bought some stuff at Loews today.
"That'll be $13.76" the nice lady said.
I laid a ten and a five on the counter.
"May I have your telephone number, please?" the nice lady asked.
"If I give you my telephone number, you'll call. I'll cuss you out then I'll get in trouble for using obscene language," I said.
"We won't call, I promise," she said.
"I know you won't call, because I'm not giving you my telephone number. How do I know you're not collecting numbers so you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk dirty?"
"No, we're trying to crack down on people who take things, then try to return them without a receipt. But if we put in telephone numbers, we can verify that the item was really bought."
"Oh," said I. "In that case my telephone number is WAtermelon U ate one too green."