How to tell if the house is on fire

Don't worry about it. This is a home repair newsgroup. If you don't have a home, you'll not have any more questions to bother yourself with.

What is a fire in one town might not be a fire in another. It is best to call your local fire department and check with them. You can find their telephone number in the phone book.

We can't see your house from here so we can't help you.

You need a PRO with a GED and a "DAMN! I ARE A PRO NOW" certificate from the A-Dolt Edgykayshin program to check this out.

But it will cost you between $200 to $20000000000 to fix.

Email me and I will send you some quotes.

CBHVACuous, Webmeister Extraordinairey

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snipped-for-privacy@hotmail.com wrote:

• There is some red and yellow stuff flashing in
• my living room. It looks like one of the walls
• fell down. There appears to be smoke, in fact
• I can hardly see the computer. It keeps getting
• hotter in here, I can hear crackling sounds, and
• the smoke detectors are screaming.

• It looks like the house is on fire, but my husband
• is not home to tell me if this is a real fire, or
• just a prank. Because I am blond, people like to
• play games on me, and this might just be some
• lights and fake smoke like they use on stage at
• concerts. How can I tell if this is a real fire
• or just a prank?

• Blondie

Post again in two days (if you're able). If you respond in that length of time, chances are it was all hoax and you'll need to have some serious sex with the one who did this to you. Please forward your picture so all of us can decide who confesses first.

I found out, when I drove up to my house after work today, that it HAD been on fire. I could tell by all the big shiny fire trucks, and flashy ambulances in the street, and all the firemen running in and out of the house!

Luckily it was just a small fire, seems the wife was cooking again! Greg

Maybe you should call Mr. Obvious.

I'm not really qualified to answer that question.