Late Breaking News
Authorities just discovered that the "New Years Ball" that was supposed to drop at midnight this New Years eve, in New York city, was rigged. It appears that terrorists attached a second ball to the original one, along with a giant Penis. In addition to the modification of this ball, it was discovered that someone placed a large bush under the "ball". While this device does not contain any explosives or other dangerous devices, New York officials look at the device as a means for terrorists to say "F*ck You" to our beloved American president, George W. Bush. The ball will NOT be dropped tonight, however, when questioning several bystanders, most said they are so drunk they will never notice whether the ball drops or not.
Holy Cow - American News Reporter