I woke up this morning at 4am all ready to go shopping for the great Blitz. I had eaten a tremendous amount of Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, I had severe stomach cramps and I almost had to crawl to the bathroom from the pain. I sat down on the toilet and started to take a gigantic shit. The bathroom started filling with gas as I filled the toilet with enough shit to warp the porcelain. I was just finishing my shit when I reached over to turn on the bathroom exhaust fan. That's all I remember. The next thing I saw was a bunch of paramedics, police and firemen. Thats when I saw what was left of my home, which had been reduced to a pile of rubble. I heard one of the cops say "the house just exploded". Thats when I remembered flipping that switch. Apparently the fan motor's brushes must have sparked and set off the accumulation of gas in the bathroom, thus destroying the house. Fortunately no one was seriously injured or killed. I was taken to the hospital and suffered from pieces of the toilet embedded in my butt, and a few other cuts and scrapes. Fortunately I was thrown out the home as it exploded and the police found me laying on top of the hood of our neighbors BMW, without my pants or underwear. My home is completely demolished, so I guess there's no sense going shopping now.
Fred