OK, it's Christmas. All day long you have been eating cookies, ham, potato salad, pickles, drinking wine and doing other things to fill your intestines. Your toilet has greatly sufferred from over use. You have used enough toilet paper to destroy half of the forests on Earth. Don't you feel at least a little guilty?
Tomorrow, December 26th is officially "Be Kind to your Toilet Day". It's pretty simple to be kind to your toilet. Simply DO NOT use it. No matter how bad you have to take a shit tomorrow, DON'T DO IT. You must hold it all day and night until the calendar flips over to December 27th. Give your toilet a break, and HOLD IT !!!! While your toilet is resting from all the overuse it got on Christmas, remember, your toilet needs a vacation too. Treat it kindly, give it a hug and a kiss, and whatever you do, DO NOT SHIT IN IT. Not only will your toilet get a much needed rest, but you'll save money on your water bill and on toilet paper. If you really love your toilet, but it a gift, such as a new seat, or a sweet smelling deodorant bar.
If anyone on the street approaches you and asks you why you are bending over and holding your belly, simply be honest and tell them that "you love your toilet, and you're full of shit".
Mark