3 way dimmer switch

You can either use a combination of one three way switch and one three way dimmer or you can get three way master-slave dimmers like Lutron "Diva"

Sorry, Lutron "Maestro" not "Diva"

Wiring the 3 way is the same using one 3 way dimmer or not. I can't follow what you have said above so I am not quite sure about what you have done so far.

Here are 3 methods that you could use. The 1st is the easiest to do and to understand.

1. Hot feed goes to one switch box. 3 wire cable from switch box to switch switch box. Then 2 wire cable from the other switch to the light(s)
2. Hot feed goes to 1st switch box. 2 wire cable from SAME box up to light(s). 3 wire cable from 1st box to 2nd box.
3. Hot feed at light box. 3 wire cables from each box both going up to the light box.

You need to choose which way best fits your situation. Get a basic wiring book or Google for 3 way circuits and you will find many examples- diagrams etc on how to make the connections.

Kevin