Could you design a garden for someone who hates gardening? Any ideas?

Hi everyone,
After denying it for some considerable years I have come to the
conclusion this year that I absolutely detest gardening. These past 2
summers have been the worst and where there was once a lawn (if you
could ever call it that) is now just a bed of weeds and nettles.
Out of pure consideration for both my dog who needs to toilet there, and
my poor neighbours who have to look at the sorry state everytime they
open their bedroom curtains I have decided that this year I really need
to sort it out once and for all.
I'm looking for ideas from people who love gardening. Half the reason
being that I am a hairdresser who can cut many styles and invent many
colours, but when a client tells me they want 'low maintence - wash and
leave' I try to still use some creative thought into making something
suited to them than simply utilitarian.
My non gardening loving friends have so far suggested 2 things - "flag
it over" or "get that false grass stuff", neither of which appeals to me
(or my neighbours I imagine) so could I possibly draw on your experience
and creativity to help me with a very low maintence plan?
My garden is typically suburban. Rectangular - 30ft wide by 70ft long. A
full width shed sits at the bottom of the garden and a full width decked
patio sits at the top which is accessed by 2 patio doors.
It's the 'sea of green' that lies in the middle of those 2 areas that
gives me such a headache every year (totally embarrassed here admitting
Here's what I like to use my garden for: Letting my dog out to go wee or
poo at night or through the day, Having 2-3 intimate barbeques per year
on the decked area, Storing stuff, burning stuff (just occasional
paperwork from work that contains private information such as client
addresses or contact details etc. - I tried shredding and it takes AGES
- much faster to burn), and I guess if it was tidy without risk of being
stung by nettles I would love to have a covered hammock or swing to sit
in occasionally to read my kindle.
Oh, and I am not keen at all on any bees or wasps coming anywhere near
me hence me not ever wanting to mow the lawn in the summer!
Many thanks in advance if you can help me out with some ideas that will
work long-term.
Reply to
I would love to have a go. I have designed many (although I say it myself very pretty functional gardens particularly with low maintenance.
A photo and dimensions would be great or at least dimensions, slope etc.
Regards Ian
Reply to
It seems that the grass is not getting sufficient amount of water. That's why it is drying and and getting dead. Try to remove the dead grass and give your lawn a lot of water.
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I Agree. Try providing your lawn with more water. Also what you can do is to "stab" this lawn with a pitchfork, and move it a little. This will loosen the roots and the ground, and your grass will have some more "breathing room" if I can say that. This should help.
Search for "How to Aerate the Lawn" -- Cheers! Katie visit 'Construction Equipment Photos & News'
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'Farm Machinery Pictures & News'
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Too much water, watering at the wrong times, watering frequently but not deep, etc have killed just as many, if not more lawns than too little water. It's the classic amature mistake. The lawn has a problem and they start watering away. If the problem is actually a fungus, for example, that will just make it worse. Same thing with fertilizer. Lawn has a problem, people think fertilizer is the answer.
Also what you can do
Which might be practical if the lawn is only 100 sq ft. But for any typical size lawn it's just not practical nor does it do much good. Ditto for those dopey shoes with spikes on them. Renting a core aerator is the real solution if you need to aerate. And unlike a pitchfork that makes tiny holes by compressing the soil in the area next to the hole, a core aerator removes plugs of soil that are 3" long and 1/2" in diameter. That has a significant impact on soil that is compacted which a pitchfork will never achieve.
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