After denying it for some considerable years I have come to the conclusion this year that I absolutely detest gardening. These past 2 summers have been the worst and where there was once a lawn (if you could ever call it that) is now just a bed of weeds and nettles.
Out of pure consideration for both my dog who needs to toilet there, and my poor neighbours who have to look at the sorry state everytime they open their bedroom curtains I have decided that this year I really need to sort it out once and for all.
I'm looking for ideas from people who love gardening. Half the reason being that I am a hairdresser who can cut many styles and invent many colours, but when a client tells me they want 'low maintence - wash and leave' I try to still use some creative thought into making something suited to them than simply utilitarian.
My non gardening loving friends have so far suggested 2 things - "flag it over" or "get that false grass stuff", neither of which appeals to me (or my neighbours I imagine) so could I possibly draw on your experience and creativity to help me with a very low maintence plan?
My garden is typically suburban. Rectangular - 30ft wide by 70ft long. A full width shed sits at the bottom of the garden and a full width decked patio sits at the top which is accessed by 2 patio doors.
It's the 'sea of green' that lies in the middle of those 2 areas that gives me such a headache every year (totally embarrassed here admitting this).
Here's what I like to use my garden for: Letting my dog out to go wee or poo at night or through the day, Having 2-3 intimate barbeques per year on the decked area, Storing stuff, burning stuff (just occasional paperwork from work that contains private information such as client addresses or contact details etc. - I tried shredding and it takes AGES - much faster to burn), and I guess if it was tidy without risk of being stung by nettles I would love to have a covered hammock or swing to sit in occasionally to read my kindle.
Oh, and I am not keen at all on any bees or wasps coming anywhere near me hence me not ever wanting to mow the lawn in the summer!
Many thanks in advance if you can help me out with some ideas that will work long-term.