how do i install a tree?

Climable, huh? Buy a step ladder... you'll be long dead before any tree you plant today will be climbable.

Ornamental pear - Redspire - fits my 8 sq meters nicely:

"Tree baptist"?? Dunno, but you might consider a tree agnostic.

Have another beer or two it will become clearer.

Will it be tall enough so you can stand underneath and not hit your half metre cubed pointy head though?

When your loan on the beer expires pass it on to the tree. It's best if you massage it into the tree every morning before the sun rises. And chant.

Something from the genus Fatheadsia comes to mind.

There used to be some bush Baptists around here but now we just have bush Buddhist (of the nether sect). Will that do?

David.

This guy is an idiot and SHOULD leave.

Really hope he will get out soon.

You all suck at gardening, I have two trees in my garden and a rose bush, noobs

OK. Who left the door open and let the dogs in?

What is with this invasion of "Garden Bickerers" doing in rec.gardens? You do realize, don't you, that America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and several non-Anglophile countries are watching you make fools of yourselves? For god's sake, pull yourselves together. Now do you have any questions about the care and nurturing of plants. Otherwise, I suggest you drag yourselves over to alt.abuse.