May 30th Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to
live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and
deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park
lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I
love it here.
June 14th Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real
June 30th Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat.
Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I
learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
July 20th I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch,
Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all
over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th Dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home
air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to
drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now.
$1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I
ever come here?
Aug 4th It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid
repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid f@*king state.
Aug 8th If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?",
I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to
work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like Roasted f@*king Garfield!!
Aug 10th The weather report might as well be a damn recording:
Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to #@*& for two damn months and the
weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever
rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing has been in effect
all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the
damn pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug 14th Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the God damned windshield out of
the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of
Aug 30th Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the
house. The f@*king monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to
make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in
The Gulf of Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're
moving back to New York for some peace and quiet.