This is a personal post that might gross out some people. Please use
discretion when deciding to read it.
I was two months pregnant until today, when I lost the baby. I collected a
lot of blood in a bowl, as well as some tissue. I'd like to make some sort
of little memorial by incorporating this into my garden somehow. For some
reason, I would find it comforting if this sadness could be put to some good
My first thought was simply the compost pile--quick and easy. However, are
there any plants that do particularly well with a small application of fresh
Again, sorry to gross anyone out. I really like this NG, as I have found
some good advice and have met some friendly people, and I don't wish to
offend, but I thought maybe one or two people could give some advice here.
So sorry for you, and I can understand you motives. (I know someone who
buried her early miscarriages in a corner of her garden.)
Putting in a special plant, tree, or shrub might make a reasonable memorial.
I wish you well.
I'm sorry for your loss but I certainly do admire your way of trying to cope
with the situation.
I'm not at all good at showing 'sensitivity' online and I can't think of a
decent way of writing about the loss of a potential human being so I'll just
come right out and say it and I'll apologise in advance if what I say
appears to be insensitive.
Fresh human blood and tissue will have a similar effect in the garden to the
organic fertiliser known as 'blood meal'. It will be high in nitrogen and
relatively fast acting.
If you can find a plant in your garden and that needs a feed and that you
particularly like, then that plant might be a good candidate to nurture.
Please don't worry about sensitivity. I asked an honest question and
expected straightforward answers, and I appreciate the answers I got. I
decided to dilute the blood and put it on the hills of corn that are
currently not growing very well. It is the variety Chires, also known as
baby corn, which is appropriate. The tissue, I will put in the compost
where it will help our whole family.
Sorry for your loss. I'm a bit new here, so can't really offer a
suggestion that relates to your situation from a produce gardening
perspective. However, I would perhaps give some thought to how you
would like to remember and memorialize your loss.
People often try to make a relationship by using a personal item from
the person lost (hair, tooth, fingerprint, etc.) and associating it in
their daily lives. You may feel right now that adding the "genetic"
material to your garden, but how will you feel when it is time to
harvest the garden? If the plants do well, was it a sign from above?
If you have a bad crop, was it a symbol of the recent failed
conception? And how is it going to make you feel eating the
You may want to take some time and reflect on this. I have no idea how
it feels to lose a child, but have lost loved ones in the past. What I
would think would be more fitting is to take an aluminum cigar
cylinder or a sealed glass container to put the genetic material into,
and then bury this somewhere on your property. Do you have a rock
garden? Put it in there with a small engraved stone. Or perhaps plant
a tree and put the cylinder at the base of it.
In that way, you can have a visible reminder after this season so that
the emotional scars heal, and eventually if/when you are ready to move
on or have another child, you have the choice to remove the "reminder"
or leave it to serve as a memorial.
I read this poem on another website, and I thought I would share it
"A Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they
think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
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