Handy Cleaning Tips
Dirt - Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF
of 15 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs - Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the
thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the
light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What?
spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday
Pet Hair - Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the
by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn
animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in
Guests - If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly
into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your
tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd
love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots
are SO expensive."
Dusting - If dust is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn
the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to
scatter her ashes."
General Cleaning - Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly.
dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look,
yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't
As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie
pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a
bakesale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...
Always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected
guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.