OT: humor

An old, rich man is sick and close to death. He's enjoyed his wealth and doesn't want to die, and decides that he's going to try to take some of his riches with him despite the old adage "You can't take it with you."
On his deathbed, he summons his minister, his doctor, and his lawyer. He explains his desires to the three men, and finally hands them each an envelope. He says "Each envelope contains $100,000 that I want to take with me. At my funeral, when you pay your last respects, I want each of you to toss the money into my casket."
After the services, the three men are sitting around at the wake. The doctor says "I'm feeling guilty. I kept only put half the money in his casket, I donated the rest to a clinic for poor kids who need medical treatment." The minister also confesses "I feel guilty too. I kept $10,000 out, and donated it to the orphanage."
The lawyer is stunned. He jumps up, and proclaims "You both should go to jail! The man's dying wish was for you to put the money in his casket!. You lied to him and stole from him! I, on the other hand, wrote a check for the full amount."
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On Fri, 24 Dec 2004 17:12:39 GMT, "J.B. Bobbitt"

Reminds me of my favorite.
An old, rich man is sick and close to death. He has been a faithful Christian all of his life, and as he is lying on his deathbed he is praying. "Dear Lord, I've served you all my life. I've shared my possessions with those less fortunate. I've never cheated anyone or lied to gain an advantage. Now I want to make one request before I come before you."
God considered this and responded, "What is your request, my son?"
"Lord, I've always heard that you can't take it with you, but I'd like to bring something from my earthly life with me to heaven."
Again, God pondered before responding, "Very well. You may bring one suitcase with you when you come to Heaven. Have it packed and under your bed before you die."
The man gave careful instructions as to what he wanted in the suitcase and had it placed under his bed. A couple of days later he passed on to his reward and found himself at the pearly gates, suitcase in hand. St. Peter looked him over and said, "You are admitted, but the suitcase can't come. You only get to come here with your soul. Remember, 'you can't take it with you.'"
"But I have special permission from God!" The man protested.
"Hmmm... I'll have to check this out. Wait here." And Peter disappeared into the heights of Heaven. A short time later he returned and told the man "You're right, you have permission to bring that one suitcase, but I have to inspect it to make sure that there is nothing in it that would be inappropriate in Heaven."
The man immediately agreed to have his case inspected and opened it on the spot, to reveal row after row of bars of gold glistening in the heavenly light. Peter studied this for a moment then looked at the man, puzzled - "You brought pavement?"
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Merry Christmas to all!
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
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