By age thirty I realized that "full head of hair" wasn't in the cards for me, If I wanted to be able to know when I was "going gray" I'd need an alternative to tell of my impending "metal phase of life " (silver hair, gold teeth and lead butt), a mustache would do it, but just a mustache didn't look right to me - on me. A full beard raised the equivalent lady's question "do these pants make my butt look big" - but in a male facial context - does this beard make my face look fat?
The obvious compromise was to add a goatee to the mustache. So as the top and sides of my head began losing the Follicle Battle, the mustache and goatee provided a "gray hair" alternative.
Then one day I fell asleep in the "barber chair". My "barber" was a little Russian lady at Super Cuts. I awoke to here gleefully saying "You look JUST LIKE - Lenin!" Even half awake, I knew I looked nothing like John Lennon. And when I realized it was THE Lenin, after whom Leningrad was named - I began shaving my head - but kept the stache and goatee.
After four or five years I shaved them both off - only to discover I seemed to have no upper lip - or chin. Kept being startled when I'd see a stranger out of the corner of my eye and wondering how he got in my house - only then realizing it was my reflection in a mirror. window of picture frame.
Now I'm thinking - if my eyebrowse keep getting longer - maybe the mustache and goatee can go - and I can go with the Fu Manchu eyebrowse look - or maybe the Pirates of the Caribbean braded thing! Hmmm - a change to look foreward to . . .
charlie b