# O/T: The New Math

• posted on March 31, 2011, 3:38 am
An Oldie
Enjoy
Lew ------------------------------------- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semi-colon
One million aches: 1 megahurtz
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
A half-bath: 1 demijohn
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
2200 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfish
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
1 million billion picolos: 1 gigolo
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
10 millipedes: 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents: 1 decadent
10 monologs: 5 dialogs
5 dialogs: 1 decalog
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2 wharves: 1 paradox
100 Senators: Not 1 decision
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• posted on April 1, 2011, 2:10 am
Thanks Lew, That was a fun one to read. On a very wide variation of those examples, I used to work for a boss at a research lab in a large metropolitan hospital and our group was always talking science. A lot of unusual chemical names were always being tossed around but my boss used a made up name as a generic substitute. His term was "difungomuctane". I don't know if he made it up or got it from his friends in the scienterrific community but it always cracked me up when that name was used indstead of the legitamate compound's name. Marc (waiting for the April Fools jokes to come puring in)
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• posted on April 1, 2011, 2:59 am
"marc rosen" wrote:

<snip>
Glad you enjoyed it.
Lew
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• posted on April 1, 2011, 4:01 am

too late, it's 3 p.m. here
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• posted on April 2, 2011, 1:17 pm
[[ sneck ]]
whoever first published that that had a *lousy* proof-reader!
Did anybody else catch how many of those conversions were inaccurate?
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