How to murder people with wood?

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I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons.
What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I avoid being arrested by the cops?
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Why would you post this? Do you think it is funny, or is there another reason?
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Does the word troll mean anything to you?
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Sure, but troll are funny or clever. This one is just dumb; it doesn't qualify as a troll.
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Toller wrote:

Sez the fish to the fisherman. "I is ready to be filleted, breaded and fried, but I's not been trolled".
--
Dave
www.davebbq.com
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I recommend buying a wooden stick. Buy a good one. Pay about $100 for it- even though the saleperson says its only worth $10. That way it will magically increase in potency to a higher level. Use the magic words- "Keep the change, sucker!!!!"
Sharpen the stake. Use your own ass for that. It will help cure your hemoroid ailments if you have them.
Next step, stab yourself in the heart. If you don't succeed - lie on the ground holding the stake- that way, when a Mack Truck goes up it will assist the penetration process.
Last step, you will become a vampyre, a member of the undead!! That way the cops will never be able to catch you!!!!
Best wishes,
Wylie Wilde
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Use your head.
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Sun, Oct 29, 2006, 7:51pm (EST-3) spartan snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com (EdZagmoon) doth burbleth: I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons. What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I avoid being arrested by the cops?
Well, won't actually elevate you to serial killer status, but it will work.
Get a long wooden post, and point one in. Plant it in the ground, with the pointed en up, and sticking out about 4 feet.
Sit on the pointed end. Guaranteed killer, and the cops wont arrest you.
Damn troll.
JOAT If it can't kill you, it ain't a sport.
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a gallows

Test it on yourself first.
--
For every complicated, difficult problem, there is a simple, easy
solution that does not work.
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I would ignore this post. This is one scary individual. If you use Goggle groups you can do a "view profile" and see the posting history of this person.
What is depressing is this twisted person may actually commit a crime at some point yet there is nothing anyone can do until the act is committed.

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Just call him a suspected terrorist then he can be sent to Guantanamo, no charges needed.
wrote:

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CW wrote:

Yeah, and can you believe there are some a'holes that want to do away with Gitmo??!!! I guess they want more due process and more rights for the dirtbags that have openly declared war on us and society. Ya gotta wonder what they're thinking...
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CW wrote:

Yeah, and can you believe there are some a'holes that want to do away with Gitmo??!!! I guess they want more due process and more rights for the dirtbags that have openly declared war on us and society. Ya gotta wonder what they're thinking or whose side they're on...
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in 1324916 20061101 193059 snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com wrote:

Just don't cry when they send you there.
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Bob Martin wrote:

I don't need to worry about that. I am an honest hardworking citizen. I don't fraternize with terrorists or enemies of the state. Gitmo is there for those people, not me. Do you really think of America as "The Evil Empire" just looking for excuses to lock up honest people who disagree with "the regime"? If that were true (and it's not), a lot of very public, very outspoken anti-establishment activists would be disappearing unexplainably. If they are not locking them up, why would the lock me up (along with every other average citizen)? Your alarmist BS has no substance.
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On 2 Nov 2006 05:40:22 -0800, snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com wrote:

Horseshit. I thought your first post was toungue-in-cheek.
So what happens if a different political party gains power and decides that your ilk are dangerous to society? There are very good reasons why we have due process and Habeus Corpus. Sometimes the guys who have to enforce the law make mistakes, and the court system is there to (at least try) to sort those out according to a reasoned process. These are basic human rights that date back to the 13th century, and are not to be casually trifled with because the idea that some bad men halfway around the world might come on camelback to get you makes you piss your panties.
Law is an incremental process, they start small, with test cases to establish a precedent. Once the precident is set, it becomes very difficult to overturn- it's not impossible to disregard precedent, but it is generally not done in our legal system. So they start with "terrorists," (I use the word in quotes because without charges or systematic review, any one of those people could be a grocer from Iran who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time- the point is, we can't know, because the evidence is hidden) and once that is established, it can be applied in incremental steps to broaden it's effective range of applications. Next might be home-grown militia groups- I don't care for them, and chances are you don't either. Even though they're citizens, they could easily be labeled terrorists. If the courts uphold the suspension of Habeus Corpus for even one US citizen, the precedent is firmly established, and can be broadened through a series of small steps- maybe child molestors, arsonists, murderers and thieves are next. Most of the people will so treated will likely be guilty- if there's much doubt, the courts won't uphold the initial cases.
So a few years from now, when the precedent is firmly established, it can become a tool of politics. Chances are, you'll never end up in a camp- but a challenger in a political race whom you may have wished to vote for very well could. Or a newscaster who has a story that embarrases the administration. Or a Union leader. You get the idea (I hope.)
Nobody is for the goddamn terrorists. That's a cheap and dispicable con game on the order of the old "So, have you stopped beating your wife yet?" question. Just because someone disagrees with your 5th grade understanding of the world and how it works, that doesn't mean they're out to get you and yours. In this case, they're looking out for your best interests, even though it seems fairly apparent that you deserve anything you get- after all, you're *asking* for it.
If you really think that honest, hardworking citizens can't be railroaded by a political trend, you need to do some research into McCarthyism. Here's a link for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_McCarthy
It's not alarmist bullshit. It happened. It's a matter of public record, and it was not that long ago.
Even with Habeus Corpus intact, thousands of innocent citizens were smeared by unfounded rumors and accusations that often cost them their jobs and families. Most had nothing to do with Communism whatsoever- it was a political tool, just as the term "terrorist" is. McCarthy was able to ruin many lives with nothing more than rumor, innuendo, and agressive "investigation" techniques. Think of how much more damaging his reckless slander campaign might have been had he been able to simply whisk the people he suspected away to a camp on foreign soil- never to be seen or heard from again.
You must, I repeat, must, respect and defend the right of Habeus Corpus in EVERY SINGLE instance. If you don't, one day your head could be the one on the chopping block- and you will have no say in the matter, having given your right to defend yourself away long before. You might see the value of the right to see and challenge the evidence against you then- but of course, that knowledge will have come too late.
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Prometheus said:

On target summation!
Greg G.
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wrote:

So what home-grown militia groups are composed entirely of aliens?

So what?

While this may be true, who has proposed to suspend Habeus Corpus "for even one US citizen"? The last person to try i t IIRC was named Grant.

Well, now, personally I don't much hold with noncitizens holding elected office in the US so I don't really have a problem with that.

So what's a guy operating on a green card doing running a union? If they want to arrest alien reporters I don't have any problem with that.

Uh, you shouldn't go on about "fifth grade understanding of the world" when you own is wide of the mark.
<McCarthy stuff snipped>

So how many noncitizens _did_ McCarthy go after?

If you're a noncitizen.
Have you actually _READ_ the "Military Commissions Act" and not just what some netloon has said about it? It applies specifically and _only_ to "aliens" who are defined in the act as persons who are not US citizens. Futher, every version of it that I could find that was considered by the Congress had that same restriction.
The full text of the legislation may be found at < http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c109:3:./temp/~c109vNo5G3 :: >.
Note specifically
"Sec. 948c. Persons subject to military commissions Any alien unlawful enemy combatant is subject to trial by military commission under this chapter."
Also note
"Sec. 948a. Definitions In this chapter: (3) ALIEN- The term 'alien' means a person who is not a citizen of the United States." If you're going to whinge at least have the courtesy to whinge about something that somebody actually did or was trying to do.
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On Fri, 3 Nov 2006 08:34:25 -0500, "J. Clarke"

None. That's the problem. If it is okay to lock up foreign terrorists without evidence or trial, then it must be okay to do that with domestic terrorists, too. Remember Oklahoma City? ( I need to clarify this- I do not mean that McVeigh's civil rights were breached, I am pointing out an example of domestic terrorism )
If they do it to even one person, they can do it to anyone. If all an authority needs is an accusation unsuppoted by evidence to lock someone up and torture them, that is a cudgel too powerful and too dangerous to rest in the hands of any man. It will be misused.

We get led with baby steps to the stockyards. If the government declared that all this was going to happen in one fell swoop, people would revolt. But if they do it slowly enough, we all get used to it a little at a time. They don't have to have malicious intentions when doing it- each step might really *seem* like the right thing to do. A lot of evil is hidden behind waving flags.

You just don't get it, do you?

Again, you missed the point. And you *should* have a problem with a government arresting a reporter and torturing them without evidence- regardless of their nationality. You don't support the people who behead American reporters in the Middle East, do you? Is that the behavior we are to emulate and adopt?

Well, you've convinced me. I guess I'll just have to assume from here on out that whomever is the most popular during any given election cycle is an honest and upright citizen who has the natural ability and good sense to use any amount of unlimited power properly.
Whew, that's a relief.

There were probably a few. But I'd say the problem was that an elected official was conducting a witch hunt against citizens- wouldn't you? Do you think it could never happen again?

You're an ass.

Somebody did actually do it- you just sent the link describing it. And they will try to expand it, as sure as the sun rises in the East.
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Prometheus for president! Even more seriously, though, well spoken. "Preserve, protect and defend the constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic". Tom Prometheus wrote:

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