How to handle telemarketers

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Brent Beal wrote:

something. If I don't hear anything within that second I hang up before the computerized equipment can transfer me to a harassment specialist. If it was someone who actually wanted to speak to me they will call right back. Telemarketers don't.
Wayne
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cannot get the words out right away. Hope your grandkids are faster, and that you don't have a coworker as I am referring to.
--
Best regards
Han
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(with mommy or daddy's supervision of course), and there are plenty of other background noises that I can recognize. :-)
Wayne
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NoOne N Particular wrote:

You want more time than 1 second? Don't answer with "hello", many of the automated calling systems recognize "hello" and initiate the transfer process. If you answer, "this'sbrent",it slows down the process of transfer and gives you more time to react.
--
If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough

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We don't get many telemarketers, and I hadn't thought about it, but I always answer the phone, "Charlie Self." With the TMs and other dips (usually politicians or their reps, at least this year), there is quite a long pause before the machine switches over. I do dump the call after a couple of seconds.
You spoiled one of my illusions. I always thought the delay in answering was because the idiots calling, who almost always then ask for Mr. Self, couldn't understand English. Most of them don't speak it at all well.
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Charlie Self wrote:

Several years ago a telemarketer called. First thing he asked was how I was doing. My quick mind replied, "I'm not doing to good. Life is going downhill real fast and I'm just on my way to end it all!" And hung up. Three minutes later one of our towns finest called. Wanted to know how things were going. "Fine," I replied. Yeah, the reason I'm calling is that a telemarketer just called and said he called you and that you said you were going to commit suicide, blah, blah, blah. Then I had to explain to the officer that I was fooling around with him (the telemarketer) and that everything was fine like I said. From then on I just hang up, don't say a word, just hang up.
Been thinking about them air horns on a can of air lately, tho.
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If it's a woman, I let her ramble on for a few minutes, then I say, 'can I ask a question' the reply is always 'yes', so I ask 'what colour knickers have you got on?' this usually results in an immediate switch off!
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This is similar to what my friend Butch does - use thelemarketer's calls as an excuse for what he calls "innuendo phone sex" - never coming out and using explicit words, only euphamisms and double-entendre. I wish I had recordings, the results are amusing to say the least.
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On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:39:38 GMT, "alan holmes"

Using a Peter Lori voice ask, "How large are your breasts?"
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