How to create wooden weapons ???


I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army. Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to buy AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons.
But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we can still win with the right weapons.
So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows, x-bows, trebuchets and so on?
Please help me to conquer the world.
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Todd Airsushi wrote:

Not sure if I can help you with weapons, but I got a cool idea for some wooden nipple clamps!
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Joe Barta wrote:

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Good Lord!
Those won't conquer the world! You need a lathe. Make a handle. Drill a hole in a 6"x 6"x 6" block to receive the handle. Drive a buncha' framing nails (16's will do) about an inch into the block. Glue the block onto the handle. Kill a cat with it. This will give you good practice with it and will give your new mace the patina that you want.
Tom in KY, will send you some cats if you want.
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Keep in mind that anything you smack with that new mace will have to be shaken off vigorously so you can get another smack in. It may be more work than you want to invest in your conquering of the world.
This NG seems to have a shared fetish for pointy sticks, so you may want to redirect your request for help to the pointy stick masters.
Tom in KY, locking all of my doors. Ya' big buncha' pointy stick carrying pervs. I bet you all drool all over yourselves when the LV catalogs come in the mail. BTW, the cats are outside tonight, help yourself.
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Aw c'mon! What he really wants to build is an onager. Bugs
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Todd Airsushi (in snipped-for-privacy@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com) said:
| I'm an evil warlord and I want to conquer the world with my army. | Unfortunately, I'm also a very poor warlord, so I can't afford to | buy AK-47s and explosives or even make metal weapons. | | But I have many skilled men in my army, hiding in the woods and we | can still win with the right weapons. | | So how can we make good wooden weapons? I mean clubs, spears, bows, | x-bows, trebuchets and so on? | | Please help me to conquer the world.
Begin by planting tens of thousands of hardwood trees and have your men care for them so the trees will grow straight, tall, and strong.
Return for additional instruction when your largest warrior cannot reach all the way around any of the trees.
-- Morris Dovey DeSoto Solar DeSoto, Iowa USA http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html
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Todd Airsushi wrote:

When I was a kid, we used to make a "gun" out of two spring-loaded clothes pins. The ammunition for the "gun" was kitchen matches. Load a match into the "gun", aim, shoot. The kitchen match would be lit as it sped to its target.
Unfortunately, I can't remember how to make these guns anymore. Pity, 'cause they're way cool! The only thing I remember is that one of the two clothes pins was used whole while the other one was somehow cannibalized.
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Pat wrote:

I remember it well - and could probably build you one in about a minute.
Hint: You need a small file or knife to do a little whittling, one wooden clothes pin is used whole and the other one only serves to provide cocking of the finished "weapon." Oh, yeah, don't forget the electrical tape.
Now, go to your room/shop and make one. Those are enough hints to get you done.<g>
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On 26 Dec 2005 19:12:24 -0800, "Todd Airsushi"

I would start by planting a lot of castor bean bushes. That will get you ricin to make your pointy stick and trebuchet projectiles a little more formitable.
As history shows, a bunch of guys with muskets will kick your ass.
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

Dammit! You're all doing it again! Seven responses, all of which went to "is.vedur" in addition to rec.woodworking. That's seven points for the troll.
Don't you people look at the headers? Or read the discussion about these gameing trolls a few days ago?
--
It's turtles, all the way down

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Mon, Dec 26, 2005, 7:12pm (EST-3) art snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com.sg (ToddAirsushi) doth burble: <snip> So how can we make good wooden weapons? <snip>
I'd start with a sharp axe.
JOAT You'll never get anywhere if you believe what you "hear". What do you "know"?. - Granny Weatherwax
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Don't get your hopes up. It will probably fall on some deaf ears.
BTW, Todd Airsushi ---> Darth Sidious
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