OT. Cunning plan....

[The Medway Handyman]

I heard of a case recently where a pikey electrocuted himself by hack sawing through a live cable he was trying to steal for the copper.

I've spotted a niche market here which could make my fortune.

The plan is to buy a load of those £9.99 non contact volt sticks from Maplins (the ones that light up near a live cable).

I'm going to re package them & sell them for £25 as "The Pikey Protector".

I already have the advertising tag line worked out; "Protect a Pikey for a Pony".

The only problem is where to advertise them?

Can anyone suggest suitable magazines to reach my target market?

[Huge]

[neverwas]

"The only problem"? You are *that* confident your van and tools will still be there when you turn around?

[SJP]

Caravan Monthy?....lol

[Onetap]

You're assuming that your target market can read.

If you could modify them so that, shortly after sale, they randomly indicate live cables to be dead, you could then give them to Pikeys. Many thousands of builders and plumbers would sponsor such a scheme.

[Clint Sharp]

In message , The Medway Handyman writes

Nowhere for preference, I see it as a speedy form of natural selection.

[dtechy]

Could you keep your racial stereotypes to yourself MH and keep th subject on DIY, unless you believe that pikey's (you really mean roman gypsies, but feel that if you use another term it isn't racist) o perhaps you have never heard of any crimes ever being commited b anyone apart from a traveller. By the way I live in a house in a cit where crime is committed by all sorts of people - even handy men

-- dtechy

[Andy Cap]

Wherever, you're fall foul of the Human Rights people, using the word 'Pikey'.

That's now a far more heinous crime than nicking cable.

Andy

[John Rumm]

Could you not engrave the ad into the lead on any roofs you are called on to maintain?

[cynic]

simply have some labels printed with the wording "Isolated - safe to work as long as this notice is present" on one side. Print you advert on the other, attach to a known live 11kV cable with the safe to work notice outward and wait for trade to come rolling in.

[dom]

Ah - but I'll counter-market* the "Crackhead Carboniser".

This detects the tiny magnetic field dip associated with your gadget being waved near the power cable, and temporarily reduces the voltage to an undetectable level - until the earth leakage associated with cable cutting is detected - at which point 25 KV is applied until the source** of earth leakage is vaporised.

*When I say counter-market - it would smarter for us to go into partnership to ensure full interoperability. **And his shell suit. Although a smoking pair of trainers should remain to indicate correct operation.

[dom]

Er - isn't this guaranteed to "kill" the trade?

OTOH - sell the labels directly directly to the copper thieves, and tell them that so long as they attach the label first, they're perfectly safe.

[The Natural Philosopher]

No.Romany Gypsies are fine. Its thieving pikey bastards we mean. Usuallt pure bred english mongrel not a hint of furrin in em anywhere.

Its not a racial thing, its a lifestyle thing. People who live parasitically on society.. or

Sure. But THIS sort of crime is done by Thieving Pikey Bastards..

[tony sayer]

OK outlaws then?...

[The Medway Handyman]

Errm. Thats why I headed the post OT. It means 'off topic'. Since you appear to be explaining the group rules to me, I assumed you would know that.

No, I mean Pikey's. If you lived in the real world - instead of living on PC Planet, you would know what I meant. And please don't play the race card it's pathetic.

Indeed I have. But I find very few accountants, solicitors, bus drivers, shop assistants, mechanics etc go around nicking lead off roofs & copper cable.

No pikeys round your way then?

[geoff]

In message , The Medway Handyman writes

the "church roof times" ?

[geoff]

Oh dear - agreeing with NP, whatever next ...

[geoff]

In message , dtechy writes

[geoff]

In message , " [e-mail]" writes

Who cares ?

You 're hardly likely to sell to them more than once, are you ?

[Andy Wade]

Won't work on armoured or concentric cables, or old lead sheathed, or anything they're likely to go for, shirley...

... I'm out.