OT: Idiot Sightings

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.
I said "May I have large bills, please?"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at MickeyD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' (of course, I wouldnΉt have left myself open by using the word ³minimal² at Taco Bell)
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, AL
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself.
And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us....... and they VOTE!
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On 7/24/2012 3:02 PM, Malcom "Mal" Reynolds wrote:

Large is ambiguous. Next time, ask for $100s.
And if you're trying to act "street savvy", large = 1,000 not 100.
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I worked as a teller for 2 commercial banks in NYC. A total of 5 different branches over a six year period. "Large" always meant $50's and $100's.
There was no ambiguity whether we talking teller to teller, teller to commercial customer (from local small businesses) or teller to 'non-commercial' customers.
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wrote:

I think he's trying to make a joke. Saying I'd like "large bills" normally means $50s and $100s ("small bills" would be $1s and $5s). OTOH, saying "100 Large" is street for $100,000.

Nope. It's common. My wife is a teller in a commercial bank, too.
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On 7/24/2012 9:01 PM, snipped-for-privacy@att.bizzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:

My favorite idiot tellers are the ones who have asked me the stupidest questions. I was cashing a check at a drive through teller and the gal behind the glass asked "Is dis yo brutha? It says James on da driven license and Jim on da check. Is dis yo brutha?" James is not my name but you get the idea. To show the abysmal state of government school education, another teller asked "Is this your brother? It's James on the drivers license and Jim on the check. Is this your brother?" ^_^
TDD
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On Wed, 25 Jul 2012 23:56:07 -0500, The Daring Dufas

To be fair, their customers are often just as bad, or much worse (yesterday one was assaulting them but left before the police showed up (they had just pulled his CCW for going off the deep end).
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On Jul 25, 9:56 pm, The Daring Dufas <the-daring-du...@stinky- finger.net> wrote:

I presented a $800 check (my monthly cash draw) to a new teller. Asked for it in "hundreds and fifties".
Teller: We don't have any.
Me: But you're a bank.
I took it all in 20s. Next month she apparently had found some and has had no problem ever since.
Harry K
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wrote:

Might be, but she may not have had any left in he drawer. They're only allowed to keep so much cash at their station (and get in deep water if there's a robbery and they're heavy). If it's busy they can often run out of big bills.
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On 7/26/2012 9:59 AM, snipped-for-privacy@att.bizzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:

Right! Next time ask for the vault teller. The one you had was just too lazy to do the paperwork.
Paul
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wrote:

...or couldn't (insufficient coverage) close down her station to buy the bills from the vault.
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On Jul 26, 12:08 pm, " snipped-for-privacy@att.bizzzzzzzzzzzz"

Small county bank, 2 tellers, one customer rep and everybody does everything...actually that teller is the main teller/vault person/ drive up window...etc.
Oddly every subsequent time she goes over and gets the bills from something near the drive up window. I suspect is was one of her first days on the job and was still learing.
Harry K
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wrote:

Common. Even more reason that she can't always get to the vault. If anyone's missing (lunch, etc.) she hasn't got anyone to cover.

Shy's buying it from another drawer (for the drive up?).

Could be but "still learning" isn't a reason not to have big bills.
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snipped-for-privacy@gmail.com wrote:

Ain't technology grand?
My (new) pharmacist has a machine that counts pills. I watched the tech get a bottle off the shelf, pour some in the machine about the size of a desktop printer, and push a button. Bingo. Now not even druggists have to make change.
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labeled as such. if such things offend you, why do you read them?
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Thanks for the laughs!
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On Tue, 24 Jul 2012 12:02:08 -0700, "Malcom \"Mal\" Reynolds"
Straight Democrat.
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common_sense snipped-for-privacy@DC.com wrote:

as opposed to gay republicans?
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Malcom "Mal" Reynolds wrote:

haha
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On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 2:02:08 PM UTC-5, Malcom Mal Reynolds wrote:

We were in a Bureau of Land Management/National Park office in Silverton, CO and the manager told us this one:
He asked us if we had an "America the Beautiful" Senior Pass that allows older folks free passage into most national parks and BLM facilities and very reduced camping fees ($10 lifetime fee). He said he had a older couple in a few days earlier and mentioned it to them. The woman went NUTS! Started swearing and claiming that it was just another government scheme to gather personal data (they don't), another tax, the park service was just another liberal group, etc, etc. Apparently she worked herself up into a pretty good lather before she stormed out, slamming the door and leaving her husband behind.
The manager looked at the wide-eyed husband and said "It really is a good deal for folks who travel the parks and BLM sites."
The husband said "Yeah - I know it is. But would you buy one if you were me?"
RonB
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Is it legal to leave such a woman tied to a tree for a few days, in bear country?
Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org .
We were in a Bureau of Land Management/National Park office in Silverton, CO and the manager told us this one:
He asked us if we had an "America the Beautiful" Senior Pass that allows older folks free passage into most national parks and BLM facilities and very reduced camping fees ($10 lifetime fee). He said he had a older couple in a few days earlier and mentioned it to them. The woman went NUTS! Started swearing and claiming that it was just another government scheme to gather personal data (they don't), another tax, the park service was just another liberal group, etc, etc. Apparently she worked herself up into a pretty good lather before she stormed out, slamming the door and leaving her husband behind.
The manager looked at the wide-eyed husband and said "It really is a good deal for folks who travel the parks and BLM sites."
The husband said "Yeah - I know it is. But would you buy one if you were me?"
RonB
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