Blobbi Sanchez in, "Green Tomatos"

Blobbi's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatos won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatos and she's getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbor and says, "Your tomatos are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?" Her neighbor replies, "Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatos can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see." Well, what the heck? She does it. Next day her neighbor asks how it worked. "So-so," Blobbi answers. "The tomatos are still green but the cucumbers are all brown, rotting, and smell like dead catfish now."
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