I think I might be a clutterer

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or look desperate more often, Lee

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good
mad.
end up

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with
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He
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up
up
Don't, leave his clean plate and utensils waiting on the counter. When he sees the dried on crap waiting for him, act surprised. "Oh, you must have forgotten to carry it to the kitchen."
--
You can\'t have everything.....where would you put it?



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LOL That would be funny, although I know I'd have a heck of a time pretending to be surprised. Might be worth a shot anyways!
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he
Let everyone know ahead of time you'll be doing that and do the same for the kids. My kid found a way to remind himself to do his laundry after having to wear dirty clothes to school once. Having to carry the dirty dishes to the kitchen and bring back the clean ones before eating will help everyone remember without nagging.
--
You can\'t have everything.....where would you put it?




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asking you mom for help if she isn't super critical is a great solution, she has already been there so should have good advice, I don't have kids so don't know what to suggest for those, Lee

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this is probably the origin of the whole problem - he "works" and you don't??! come on! :-)
i am presently a housefrau - not for too much longer - but i am very generous with what i do for dh because he does a lot for me. a calm discussion at a good time (using "i" statements - "i feel..." "i think..." etc) is going to be a good start, but ultimately, if he can't pick up his bloody plate from the table, under the circumstances you describe, i'd not be picking it up either. find a nice way to say that (if you have to, if he can't just be reasonable), and you're on your way.
he

your kids are quite little, there's much to be done, and it's good you don't have very high expectations ;-)
start training up the boys so they get into good habits (at their ages, just picking up after themselves a bit more, & doing errands for you on request, is enough imo.) my 7 y.o. can be frightfully unhelpful at times, but no doubt about it, the things which are just always expected, he does pretty much automatically, & that's where you want to be with them at that age. it's a massive help just if they will keep themselves & their own things in order & be able to help with odd jobs when you ask. and for goodness sake, put those scissors away ;-)
with the kids, remember to be positive - always try to notice what they _have_ achieved, tried hard with, done a good job on, or remembered spontaneously without being asked, & they'll be much more enthusiastic about ingraining the habits & they will feel appreciated & much more willing to help out, too.
i think your idea of calling your mum for a day or two while you do a really big clean out is a good one (i'm not sure where pride is involved...? if you & she have a bit of a weird relationship, just tell her you're nesting in preparation for the new baby :-) if there IS stuff you should probably keep but nowhere for it to go, think about how you could store or organise it better. kylie
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On Thu, 17 Aug 2006 11:49:30 +0000, 0tterbot wrote:

This works with husbands, too.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?ex 55960000&en2420e0392e3132&eiP70
--
Cathy F

“Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its
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wrote:

Hubby needs a little training. There are very effective ways and he won't know what's going on. Psychology 101
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I locked every pair of scissors wee owned in a box (security type lock box) once for a LONG time. Scissors became a "controlled sunstance" for this very reason.

It is very hard to keep up with normal housework without having to constantly monitor who is doing what where all the time.
I'm with you sis-tah!!!
MAmadurk
--
I don\'t consider myself a book collector. I just have books,
the way one has air to breathe. -N. Hilyard
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And here I thought I was the only one who locked up the scissors.
--
Jenn/Jalynne
quilting, beads, scrapbooking, cross stitch and other \'crafti\' obsessions
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rotf...my neighbors 4yo cut his bangs to the top with his play scissors the other day.... I only have one preschooler-- the rest are adult men-- now a 21 yo middle son who will be going back to college very soon..the 22yo stayed there this summer-- thank god---- and a 40 yo DH...and they are worse than the 4yo believe me...slobs at heart...... I do what I can.. I try to do hot spots daily at the very least and then say-- it'll get done tomorrow...no sense going insane as it undoes itself fast.. I do make the 4yo clean up with me-- and we try to have certain times to organize his stuff ..I find that many little plastic boxes with flip top lids help for all of the small things he has... he likes to organize too-- somewhat OCD in nature...and unlike my older 2 were at that age but he is alone basically so he is different -- no fighting and competition unless one of the adult sons becomes infantile with impatience and that happens on a rare occasion...
Hang in there...no one can be perfect.. for...they would really be insane! :) Peg

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one
shreds
box)
When Kevin was little he had to keep all his inside toys in his room. It usually looked like a tornado hit but it wasn't scattered all over.
--
You can\'t have everything.....where would you put it?



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Years ago I had a friend who, after getting tired of nagging her teenagers to pick up their things, put a Yale lock on a big closet. When the kids left their things where they weren't supposed to be in the den, etc., after a period of time she just swooped the things up and put them in the closet.
I don't remember how long these things had to stay or what the kids had to do to get them back, but apparently this was working for her.
Cheers--
Donna
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similar to the bad toy box of my sisters, Lee

after
closet.
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Stormmee wrote:

My father chucked everything out in the yard once - got tired of coming in and seeing coat, books etc on the dining room table. The embarassment of having to go out and collect the stuff cured me fast. He used to say I would plop things on 'any flat surface' with a disdainful look. He hated to go to harpy cousin's house - you had to literally shove stuff over in order to sit on any chair. He said she'd rather gossip and cause trouble than clean and pick up. He had her number forty years ago - he was right.
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relatives can be the pits, Lee, working up to her grandmother's birthday party

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LOL! Once their iPod goes into that closet, they'll pick up everything and anything!
````````````````````````````````` Donna in Texas wrote:

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my sister says that the reason bedrooms have doors is so moms don't beat their children, Le

paper,
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Hi, can anyone suggest a 'method' of tidying up masses of clutter in a small house. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so much junk everywhere.
if i had an organised method of some kind to follow and do a little at a time it would really help.
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1. I started in my closets because it is a defined space, and when done closets are easily maintained. 2. I did less used areas first so they would stay nice longer. 3. I used my TV room to put things I couldn't decide about. It slows things down if you agonize over every item so going through several times seems to work better for me. 4 get a trash bag for trash and a container for things you can't decide about. then when you find a thing you do want put it in the room it needs to be. its fine if you have lots of can't decide, just get rid of the trash and sort what you want, then you can do another round later. 5. I might be alone in this but it finally started working for me when I did all the "hidden" areas first, closets and drawers, kitchen cabinets... I think this is because when I got these done I actually had places to put things, I knew how much space it was and I simply got rid of what wouldn't fit... post often and let us know how you are doing, ask questions here, someone will know how to help, Lee

small
much
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