Don't forget the Church of the SubGenius
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Imagine teaching kids in school the value of Slack :-)
Praise "Bob"
Tis a silly world we live in
OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD
>
> I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing
> to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design to be
> taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree
> that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they
> can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to
> them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one
> theory of Intelligent Design.
> Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent
> Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief
> that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was
> He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly
> that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards
> evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by > Him.
> It is for this reason that I'm writing you today, to formally request
> that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with
> the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you
> do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal
> action. I'm sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent
> Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific
> theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be
> taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.
> Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a
> little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying
> Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were
> around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several
> lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be
> surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing.
> We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are
> not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don't
> understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is
> older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a
> carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75%
> of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and
> infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the
> half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our
> scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement,
> the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His
> Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how
> this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of
> course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
> I'm sure you now realize how important it is that your students are
> taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they
> realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying
> Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our
> beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full
> pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this, and
> unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I
> fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise
> explanation is that He becomes angry if we don't.
> You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes,
> hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the
> shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I
> have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the
> average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see,
> there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between
> pirates and global temperature.
> In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and
> beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this
> theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the
> teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your
> response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken.
> I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories
> are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country,
> and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one
> third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for
> logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.
> Sincerely Yours,
>
> Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.
>
> P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain,
> trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.
>
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(for the graphics)