Tool Descriptions

SKILLSAW - A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
BELT SANDER - An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
WIRE WHEEL - Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'. Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back.
DRILL PRESS - A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
CHANNEL LOCKS - Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
HACK SAW - One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE GRIPS - Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH - Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW - A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK - Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW - A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at amputations.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST - A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER - Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER - A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR - A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove, in order to replace a 50 cent part.
PVC PIPE CUTTER - A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
HAMMER - Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal.
UTILITY KNIFE - Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.
SON OF A BITCH TOOL - Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
THE TELEPHONE - TO CALL SOMEONE TO DO THE WORK.
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Spalted Walt wrote:

This raises the question (to me), do they make a tool especially FOR opening paint cans? As a youngster, my dad taught me to use the screwdriver with golden handle that already had paint all over it (maybe after my indiscriminate use of other ones..). At least he let me have free rein--my primary guidance was not to flip the switch on the table saw.

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On 5/3/2017 2:22 PM, Bill wrote:

Seriously, YES. Paint stores have them and typically give them away with a paint purchase. The better ones have a bottle opener on one end. ;~)

Straight blade screw drivers are good for stirring gel stains and varnishes. :~)
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They work better than a straight screwdriver, too. That's why I keep track of mine. :-)
Puckdropper
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Spalted Walt wrote:

Thank you, I have run across a few of those in the past. I don't remember ever using one. Maybe there is a YouTube video... ; )
Bill

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Probably dozens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQMJ1RFr0CU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k174Wmbqqeg

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wrote:

Can openers, often part of a bottle opener - sometimes referred to as a "church key"
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snipped-for-privacy@snyder.on.ca writes:

A 16d nail works at least as well -- stick the edge of the head under the lip of the lid, and pull back on the point.
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wrote:

Sure. Paint stores used to give them away. They look like a metal bottle opener with a curved straight blade.
<(Amazon.com product link shortened)> >As a youngster, my dad taught me to use the screwdriver with golden

That's usually what I use. I can never find the openers. ;-)
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On 5/3/2017 9:34 PM, snipped-for-privacy@notreal.com wrote:

Nice. $4 at Amazon, 48 cents at Home Depot... Seems most things I look up at Amazon is overpriced these days, much of it WAY overpriced. I warned my family and friends about this, and might as well warn yins all as well. Caveat emptor!
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On 5/8/2017 9:25 AM, Jack wrote:

Sadly, Amazon (with their third party sellers) seems to be going the same route as Ebay. It used to be you could generally find great deals on Ebay and had to work to find ripoffs. Now it seems the reverse is true - in both venues.
Caveat Emptor indeed! There will always be anal pores out there seeking to rip off the unwary. Of course, anyone who fails to exercise at least some diligence in their shopping likely deserves to be fleeced.
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On Mon, 8 May 2017 09:37:42 -0500, Unquestionably Confused

I don't trust Ebay. You're dealing *directly* with who knows who. Amazon has a tighter leash on their sellers.

Trust but verify.
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On 5/8/2017 11:56 AM, snipped-for-privacy@notreal.com wrote:

[snip]

Exactly, and I've been doing business (mainly buying) on Ebay for twenty years this July and have yet (knock on wood) been stiffed as either a buyer or seller. One has to check the buyer/seller ratings and use PayPal to shield yourself. PayPal seems to bend over backwards to protect buyers often, it's claimed, at the expense of sellers who feel THEY are victimized by purchasers. I don't know the truth there but. . . I can say this with a perfectly straight face: Over the two decades I've dealt with folks on Ebay, I have save a lot of money. Really A LOT! If I were to send off $2,500 to $3,000 to somebody on Ebay next week and they take the money and run leaving me with nothing, I would STILL be ahead of the game. I'd be mightily pissed, but financially, I'd still be ahead of the game overall.
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+1
I've been a eBay buyer since '99 and have bought close to ~400 items. There've been 4 or 5 occasions I didn't receive my purchase and the seller wouldn't respond, or was giving me the runaround. I never had _any_ problem with the eBay/paypal reimbursement process, always swift and painless.
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On Monday, May 8, 2017 at 6:10:10 PM UTC-5, Spalted Walt wrote:

My experience as well. Granted, it isn't the national garage sale it used to be, but it still has its value to me.
20 years ago (pre PayPal!)I used to buy saw blades, older tools, tool parts , and tool oddities. I bought a saw that had been in someone's garage for about 20 years for a great deal about 15 years ago. I still use it on occa sion. The reason I bought it was because it had been out of production for many years, but it was the same saw I bought in 1976 when I bought my firs t heavy duty, professional saw.
There used to be a thriving community of folks that were buying overruns, s econds, closeouts and even inventory from closed businesses. No idea how m any circular saw blades, jug saw blades, recip saw blades I bought. Those d ays are gone, though.
Still, just about three weeks ago I got a really nice set of older Stanley butt chisels. I love those, as well as the older short handled Sears butt chisels. They are perfect for me as the round handles are easy to grip and manipulate when not using a hammer/mallet. Also, the steel is soft enough to recover from hitting a nail or hard knot, and I touch them up on a sand er on site if I need to, and can get a great edge with 320g on site. Check it out:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Stanley-Steel-Cap-chisel-4-piece-set-Lot-NO -60-/122478990336?hash=item1c84511400:g:YnkAAOSwT-FZCxI3
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Lot-Of-8-Stanley-Professional-Chisels-U-S-A -/172660565358?hash=item28335f256e:g:hicAAOSwtGlZC8r4
I am pretty patient, and don't usually pay more than 6 bucks for them, and as little as about $3.50. Lots of life in these old chisels, and I buy som e of them that need some help, with regrinding and re-edging.
Now I am buying cameras that I use in my business to do inspection reports. I usually pay about .25 on the dollar, and sometimes they are immaculate, in the box it came in and with all accessories. Why so cheap? Folks have no need for a digital camera, no matter how fully featured it might be. T heir super duper smart phone takes better pics than many digital cameras, b etter movies, and awards the user with instant gratification of being able to post and enjoy.
I have four of the camera I favor so I can keep one around at all times. T he last one I bought at the first of this year came and didn't work 100% as if new. The seller contacted me immediately, and offered my money back wi th shipping. When I didn't respond in about 18 hours, he sent my money bac k to PayPal. In the end, I found an inexpensive fix, he paid for it, and I sent him the difference.
Sure, you can get burned. But as said above, with the right technique and some patience there are still some good deals to be had.
Robert
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

I have got some new auto parts on e-bay faster than the dealer could get them for me, and at a fraction of the cost ($40 instead of $100). And, they were shipped to me at home.
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On 5/8/2017 2:18 PM, Unquestionably Confused wrote:

I've only bought a few things off Ebay, but never got burned. A late, great friend of mine bought thousands of things off Ebay, and said he never once got burned. He's been gone a few years though, so can't speak about today. I just know I've lost ALL trust in Amazon. At one time you could be sure prices were good, and mainly had to worry about shipping. Now prices are often double or triple or more than what you can buy elsewhere, so trust is out the window for Amazon.
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I've had that happen on a few items, but generally speaking Amazon tends to be lower. If you're one of those smart phone carrying types, just load Amazon in your phone and take a look--if it's cheaper then go with Amazon. If not, go elsewhere.
Puckdropper
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I don't buy too many things on Amazon for $.48 (well, screws ;-) but free is even better. Though, I did have to pay $60/gallon for paint (and that was 30% off!) to get them. The sales kid asked "do you want stirrers and openers with that". "At that price for paint, you bet your A$$". ;-)
Do you have a cheaper place where you can buy damned near everything?
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