The Tool Gods Are Angry With Me

I was doing some fall type things around the house and needed my loppers to trim some bushes and trees. They were nowhere to be found. We were going to go out and buy a new one to keep a path clear to our front door.

Then my love asked me about the infamous cat on the neighbor's garage roof incident of three weeks ago.

We got a cat, originally called meesha, who we refer to as THE BITCH. She is half siamese and half hellion. She got on the roof and couldn't get down. So at great risk to myslef, I trimmed some branches to a tree and ran a big board over to her so she could get down. She wouldn't have anything to do with my makeshift bridge. So I trimmed some more and put some nails in the board to stabilize it. This was all done in the dark.

After 3 hours, the brat decided it was time to come home. I picked up everything, I thought. I went and looked just now and there were my loppers, sitting in a bucket of water. They looked mad at me. Not only some rust and pitting going on, but they were covered in some kinda black slime. I sprayed liberally with WD-40 and will repeat at least a couple more times. Maybe a little sandpaper and oil to follow.

I think leaving tools out in the rain should be a capital offense. My excuse is the cat made me do it. After all, it is my wife's cat. And she certainly doesn't care about tools. I feel guilty everytime I look at the loppers. But I will clean them up and put them to work in time for yard waste day.

And if I had anything to do with it, I would have just left the damn cat up there!

Reply to
Lee Michaels
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Your real problem is you used the wrong tool. A powder actuated tool would have allowed you to remain firmly on the ground...

Reply to
John Grossbohlin

My thoughts exactly.... and look at all the different calibers available. "Rescue a cat." Who's heard of such a thing.

Reply to
Robatoy

Cats and I have made a pact.

I don't like them and they don't like me.

As far as cat on garage roof is concerned, cat got on that roof by itself, cat can get off that roof by itself.

Damn thing isn't worth the cost of a 12 ga shell to kill it or the time it would take for a buzzard to remove the carcess after it's dead, never mind the smell.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

Unfortunately, if you're married and it's the wife's cat, you don't have much choice in the matter. You *could* refuse to save the cat, but when it came to getting yourself out of your wife's line of vision, you'd be forever banned from 'getting off that roof by yourself' so to speak.

I'm not married, never been married and most likely will never be married. But, even I know better than to refuse an order of that type by the wife. That's got to be the surest route to convert purgatory to eternity.

Reply to
upscale

Should have. The notion that a "cat can't get down" is based in a false understanding of cats. If a cat can get _up_ the tree, the cat can get _down_ the tree. But the cat is lazy egotistical hedonist and if calling for help will get it attention and get it carried down and petted it will do that in preference to the uncomfortable task of climbing backwards.

I remember a cat climbing about 60 feet up a southern yellow pine. He was up there hollering his lungs out. Of course the GF wants me to do something right now. Well, the something I did was have breakfast and think about how in the Hell I was going to get that cat down when the longest ladder I had was 20 feet short.

Well, at the sound of the can opener this gray streak comes out of the woods. If you do not have an electric can opener you will be unaware of its efficacy as a cat-caller.

After that I quit worrying about cat up a tree or on a roof or whatever. Just go up to wherever the cat is, yell "YOU CAN COME DOWN NOW", and run the can opener and the cat will be down in a flash.

Reply to
J. Clarke

Rule 1:

Don't get involved with a cat person.

Rule 2:

If in doubt, refer to Rule 1.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

:) Guess that means I'll surely never get married. And I'm sure my cat wouldn't have it any other way. She's the mistress of this household and I'm just the local slave help.

Reply to
upscale

It ain't that easy. Just look at all the cat skeletons we find on roofs and on tree branches from all the poor cats who can't get down from what at first look to them like easy perches. If you can't do it yourself, at least call the fire department.

A .22 or even a BB gun also works.

Luigi Who likes cats cause they taste just like rabbits.

Reply to
Luigi Zanasi

peepul who don't like cats are called 'catamites', i thimk.

Regards,

Tom Watson

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Reply to
Tom Watson

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Reply to
jo4hn

Reply to
jo4hn

taxidermy

Regards,

Tom Watson

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Reply to
Tom Watson

Looking for your cat?

Check my tires.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

If it happens again, I'm sure the lopper would work quite well on the little bastuhd's neck.

B.

Reply to
Buddy Matlosz

Or just refuse to be pussywhipped.

Reply to
J. Clarke

Nice!

Reply to
Robatoy

Gotta love it ... one of the best cat posts I've read. Thanks!! :)

Reply to
Swingman

Are you nuts?

Reply to
basilisk

Okay, here is the smiley I left off my other post :).

Reply to
basilisk

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