There is wood involved so guess it qualifies as being on topic.
You can see this one coming from two counties over, but it's still worth a grin.
Enjoy
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood!
Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!" (Rednecks know how to git-R-dun)