We'll call them Moe and Curly
Moe and Curly have been drinking buddies since high school.
Now in their mid thirties and both DIY home owners and
family men they often gave each other a hand with auto
and home repair. An extra set of hands is often needed
and another persepective of a particular problem can
Well Moe's septic tank had been giving him grief on
and off for years. Curly, always one to keep up with
the latest technology and DIYer tips suggested The
Dynamite Solution. The idea was pretty straight
foreward. "Scale" build up in the tank and leach
lines could be concussively dislodged by a mere
quarter of a stick of dynamite.
Conveniently, Curly knew a farmer who had some
dynamite for removing tree roots and pesky
boulders. Took him a few weeks to hook up with
the farmer. "Hell, just take a stick and some fuse.
Cut off whatever you want to use."
Curly arrived at Moe's late Saturday morning,
dynamite and fuse in hand, ready to "fix that
sucker for at least a year."
Moe had spent the morning working on his truck
- and drinking a beer or two. Wanting to get to
the real fun, Curly pitched in on the truck repair,
downing two or three brews in an attempt to
catch up with Moe. The truck work took a little
longer than expected and of course, that meant
It was mid afternoon, and being an unusually
hot one for that time of year, they'd been
carefully hydrating themselves with more
Tall COOOL Ones - having now downed about
half a case each.
By the time they got around to the septic tank
rational thinking was disappearing over yonder
mountains and The Kid With The Fireworks
was about to run amuck.
"Ya know - if a quarter stick will fix things
for a year or two - well a half stick should
be good for at least another two or three years."
And they had another beer or two discussing
the idea , each thinking "This is going to be
By the time they got around to lighting the
fuse, and a few more beers, it was a whole
stick they'd gone with.
Moe held the stick over the septic tank
pump out hole while Curly lit the fuse.
They were giggling like grade schoolers
as they ran to hide behind a tree "a safe
distance away". Fingers in their ears,
they grinned at each other like idiots
while waiting for the ground to shake
which it did.
In the midst of their High Fives and back
slapping Moe's wife appeared and she
looked less than happy. Grabbing Moe
by the ear, she led him cussing and
swearing into the house, down the hall
and into the bathroom She was obviously
not pleased with the sudden, unforseen
bathroom remodel that had just occured.
Clearly she did not like the new color,
new wall texturing or the new ambiance.
Curly of course had beaten a hasty
retreat as soon as he saw Moe's wife
come out the door and went into
seclusion for the rest of the week end.
There are limits to friendship.
There are two morals to this story.
First - like alcohol and gasoline,
alcohol and dynamite should never be
combined. Second - More is not always
So when your buddy Curly says "I've
got a great way to fix that!" and his
idea involves explosive ...