Geppetto runs into his beloved Pinocchio at the mall one day.
He asks how things are going. Pinocchio stammers "uh... well
I have problems... with my girlfriend. You know? Splinters".
Geppetto chuckles fatherly, winks and says "sandpaper, my boy.
A month later he runs into Pinocchio again and asks how's it going
with his, er, problem. Pinocchio asks "what problem?" "You know,
with the girlfriend (nudge nudge)" Geppetto says.
"Girlfriend?" Pinocchio says. "Who needs girls?"
Well, let's see if I can help you. Pinocchio is a wooden puppet whose
girlfriend was complaining about splinters. Geppetto, advises him that
sanding will help smooth things out and prevent splintering.
Now, I can't recommend that you try this experiment with sandpaper as I
assume you are male and flesh, blood and bone. So, instead, try the
experiment on your own male member with a soft soapy sponge.
If you still don't get it, you might want to ask your father.
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