A couple weeks ago our local NU Cornhuskers played the University of Texas Longhorns here in Lincoln, Nebraska. During half time one of my friends ( Brian ) had reached his capacity of liquid refreshments. Brian is six feet four and weighs 280 plus with none of it fat. In the Men's room Brian walked up to the urinal and started doing his business. About the time he was finishing up a guy about 5 foot 2 inches high in Snake Skin cowboy boots, a $2,000 Western style suit a fifteen gallon Stetson and a huge cigar in his mouth stands next to Brian at the urinal. The Texan looks over at Brian's equipment as he is pulling out what appears to be a five pound hunk of rolled Bologna out of his pants.
In a South Texas drawl he says "Is that the best Nebraska can do?" to Brian. Brian just zips up and as he is washing his hands he tells the sawed off shrimp "We grow Men in Nebraska, not pricks".
Oh BTW I should add the Texan was not Kinky Friedman.