The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One.
George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a
$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them
out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."
My favorite variation from Soviet days, where political "anekdoty" were
always attributed to Georgia, and radio Yerevan.
Little Ivan raises his hand in class and poses the following question:
"What's the difference between the words 'catastrophe' and 'misfortune'
(katistrofii i bedy)?"
"Well, Vanya, consider the following example. If you were walking to school
and dropped your lunch into a puddle, that would be a misfortune, but
certainly not a catastrophe. "
"On the other hand, if a plane carrying the entire central committee of the
Communist party were to crash into mount El'brus, it would be a catastrophe,
but no misfortune."
And it was "Radio Armenia"
As in Radio Armenia's advice to Pres Kennedy on what to do in case
of a nuclear attack:
"Get under a white sheet, and crawl _VERY_SLOWLY_ towards th
To which JFK asked "Why crawl 'very slowly'?"
Radio Armenia replied; "What's your hurry?"
Also, Radio Armenia was asked:
"Is it really possible to rape a girl in the central square of Yerevan?"
(Yerevan being Armenia's capital)
Radio Armenia thought this over for a couple of weeks, and then replied:
"Yes.... but you'll get a _lot_ of advice!"
Q: If I have a bee in my hand, what do I have in my eye?
A: Beauty. Because beauty is the in eye of the bee holder.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake, a rabbit, and an amoeba?
A: You get an adder that can multiply and divide.
Reminds me of one I heard MANY years ago at a state high school math
competition. The narrator told "the rest of the story" of Noah and the
"After the arc came to rest on the mountain top, Noah addressed his
passengers, charging them to go forth, be fruitful and multiply. So
the animals started leaving the arc two-by-two, with smiles on their
faces, and a couple of smirks from some who had gotten a head start on
Noah's charge. Finally, two snakes came out, and were very dejected
looking. Noah asked what was wrong, and they said they were adders and
adders couldn't multiply"
[Insert groan from a couple of hundred high-school math nerds here.]
"So Noah told one of his sons to go out and cut down a small tree and
some vines. They then cut the tree into 4-foot lengths, and used the
vines to lash the logs together into a raft-like platform. Noah then
drove four stakes in the ground, and had his sons lift the platform
while he lashed it to the top of the stakes. [Note woodworking content
here.] He then threw the snakes on this table and said 'Okay, now you
can be happy, because even adders can multiply on a log table.'"
Alex -- Replace "nospam" with "mail" to reply by email. Checked infrequently.
Hi, Ranger Paul! (I am referring to your site) I love the cross and
the heart model. Could you make the two heart pieces interlocking thus
holding the cross together? It would invoke a second meaning that the
heart must hold a cross together just the same. Keep up the good work!
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