Yesterday the temperature was 94 and the humidity was around 50%. I
came home from work at noon to get started on my white picket fence that
I am putting up between our house and the one of my asshole neighbor.
Got the hole out back dug and the post planted in concrete,
everything is all square and level and about 3" on my side of the
property line. I know where the property line is because my asshole
neighbor and I have been having a dispute over 45" of property for about
3 years now and he kept saying,"Get a survey!", which I finally did two
months ago and sprayed Roundup on the line from front of our property to
clear out back.
Dug the hole at the front of our property and installed that post,
also. I figured that today, Saturday I would string two lengths of
string one top, one bottom between those two posts 80' apart and then I
would have a straight line to put my other posts in on.
So far, so good!
Went out to supper and was back home about 7:30 sitting on the deck
out back and my asshole neighbor backs out from his garage and was
waiting for his wife to get in so they could go out. We went in the
house about 8:00 and I went to bed at 8:30. My wife wakes me up at 10:10
and states,"I went to take some trash out to the trashcan and I noticed
the post out back is snapped off at the base." This post is 40' from the
alley and is about 4' from an old oak tree so it couldn't have been from
anybody else and we have had to call the police on this asshole neighbor
before, several times, for vandalism, and coming onto our enclosed front
porch and threatening to "cut our throats from ear to ear if the
vandalism didn't stop." He seems to forget that he works in construction
and drives on construction sites where there are stray nails to cause
So we call the police again. Officer Finger-In-his-Nose comes and
proceeds to take down my name, address, social security number, date of
birth, phone number and the nature of my complaint. It's just after
midnite when the officer arrives then he goes next door to talk with
above said asshole. He wouldn't answer the door so the Officer said he
would come back later on and get some answers, so he left. My son-in-law
and I were out on the deck discussing several things and looking things
over with a high powered flashlite. Apparently after a half hour John
wakes up and sees a bright light from his bedroom window and thinks he
has prowlers and calls the police. And of course three squad cars
respond to him right away and they are here wanting to know what's going
on. I asked Officer Finger-In-His-Nose what John (the asshole neighbor)
had to say about the post out back. "He said he doesn't know anything
about the post and the dirt out front is his." Nothing was said about
the dirt out front. The dirt out front is the 45" of property that was
in dispute for so long of a time. John thinks his property goes all the
way to our sidewalk, but the survey shows we own that 45" past the
All the Officers say the thing for us to do is to take John to
court and have the Judge show him just where the property line is. The
surveyor said he is willing to go to court with us to prove our case.
They also say that I should stop building this white picket fence until
the Judge does explain to John a few things. And I took this next week
off just to build this fence. Guess, instead, I will finish tearing down
the ceiling in my kitchen and redo it with wiring, lite fixtures, etc.
I guess what I'm asking is; I can do the fence by myself, will
someone watch over the fence when it is done?
Did you ask yourself, "Did my wife knock over the fence post so I would
hurry up and finish the kitchen?" Just kidding!
Is there ever a good solution to living next door to a jerk like this?
This 45" of "dirt" should probably be cemented in and before it sets, some
kind of iron grill from a restoration outfit dropped on top - so the jerk
can't just break the slab up. Then when the jerk dies or moves away you'll
have a nice solid platform for a few wooden planters (three? of different
sizes? redwood? geraniums?). Um, maybe you could paint the cement and grill
gold before you put the planters down, you know, after he moves away or
A couple of houses away from me a buddy had a similar problem and put up a
plain 42" chain link and planted a row of one of the faster growing holly
bushes along the fence. He said he was careful to leave some space for the
holly bushes to grow nice and fat and dense before they came close to the
fence. I think it has been three years and you can't see the fence
anymore - well, not from my buddy's side anyway.
On the other sides of his yard my buddy put up the fence he wanted, looks
nice, too, and the row of holly bushes looks great.
Get a set of motion sensor lights. Hook up a set of motion sensors that
turns on the hose and sprinkler instead of the lights (Wasn't that a fox
you saw in your yard last week?) you could alternate the hose and a car
Have Sears install you nice ugly chain link fence so you have a bill in
your hand to take to court with the photos you took with the digital
camera. Stop off at the police station and ask about restraining orders,
they don't work but after a couple of police calls, your Sears bill, your
restraining order, digital camera photos?
Oh, don't forget to think about a sodium vapor light - big one on the
jerk's side of the house. They go on from dusk to dawn and after the jerk
gets used to it, dies, or moves away, you can turn it off and on from an
I think something inside us want to bandaide problems like this because we
have a hard time believing someone could be that much of a jerk? But you
need to think long term and you'll love those holly bushes - they look
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