Halloweeny Yard "Art" Update

[J T]

If I "ever" do any more yard "art" (except a pukey giant duck) in this lifetime, it will be because I did something really, really, wrong, and that is my punishment. I'm on the final stages of the painting, and should be finished with everything, including gluing on pieces on the backs so a stake can hold them up. There's nothing complicated about any of it, just one major PITA. Usually I enjoy painting, relaxing. Not these. Anyone else planning on making any, I'd say use plywood instead of OSB, easier to draw on, easier to cut, easier to apply a decent coat of paint.

However, all said and done, they're looking pretty good. Mostly better than the examples I got my inspiration from. One Grim Reaper, one fierce pumpkin, one stupid pumpkin, two devils, or imps - one setting the other's butt on fire, and one tombstone, with a ghost peeking around the edge, and a skull in front. Used good quality exterior latex paint, easy water cleanup, no bad smell, and dries quickly. Mixed a few custom colors too, which is easy enough to do. I must have pissed the Woodworking Gods off somehow, or more likely, their idea of a joke. Bastards. LMAO

JOAT "I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth." "Really? Why not?" "I don't know, thur. I didn't athk."

[J T]

Good news, and bad news. Good news first. Made some brackets, or whatever you want to call 'em, to fit over a stake to hold these things upright. Took 4 pieces of leftover OSB, cut into small squares, glued 2 together, then the same, an inch apart, then bridged by a thin piece of wood. Made 12 of these, 2 to each pece of "art". Got those glued on tonight. Also, got them all painted, except for a bit of detailing. Should take care of that in maybe an hour or so. The latex dries fast, so they should be delivered tomorrow. At last, what a PITA.

The bad news. I've been trying to get my mother to move down here. She wants me to move up there. Well, that sure isn't happining. So, the dau-in-law wrote her a letter, telling her about a nice place her grandmother is in, and likes a lot. That all is not the bad news part. The bad news part is, now the dau-in-law wants 2 Reindeer yard art pieces, the 2 white ones, one with it's head up, the with the head down. Crap. So, now I owe here, and looks like this is gonna be payment. No doubt about it, I'me shafted. Anyway, not about to buy plans for crap like that, they're $19.95 EACH. No biggie tho, I've found some pictures, and I'll be able to make similar patterns. Be plenty easy to paint too, being just one color, can use a roller, or just slop it on with a big brush. The dau-in-law thinks I should mak a batch of them, says they sell for $50 each. Hard to believe that people will pay that kind of money for something like that. Obviously a case of more money than brains or taste. I may make an extra, as a pattern, and save it, just in case they actually do sell for that much. Gods above, I feel so shamed.

JOAT "I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth." "Really? Why not?" "I don't know, thur. I didn't athk."

[Dave]

How about foam? Used it for my seven headstones and only cost $13.99. While a single headstone at a halloween store cost the same price. One headstone $14.00 x 7 = $98.00 One sheet of 2" foam = 7 headstones = $14.00 Left over 3/4" sprinkler pipe cut into 16" pieces = free (drill 3/4" hole into bottom for pipe) in your case into each leg of deer. [Example:

cans of spraypaint = $8.00 Having your shop looking like it just snowed after cutting foam with hole saw = Free

Just a thought, Dave FL

[Charley]

If you keep this up you may forget how to do "real" woodworking.

Charley

[J T]

Mon, Oct 22, 2007, 11:35am (EDT-3) [e-mail] (Dave) doth query: How about foam?

Foam? Gods above, no. I figure that would drive the Woodworking Gods bonkers. Don't need that much extra stress in my life. I'll just use sheathing plywood. Or maybe OSB again, but give it a couple or three coats of paint. No prob.

No, my real bitch, besides doing pukey yard "art", is the price they want for the patterns. $19.95 for ONE set of plans. So if I bought a pattern for one reindeer, head up; then one with head down; that's $39.90, not including tax and shipping. No way. Hell, for a lot less $, I can get "real" woodworking plans for something a lot more complicated and a whole lot nicer. I even got a book full of plans for building working model marine steam engines, for a lot less than that. Besides being what I consider vastly overpriced for almost any plans or patterns, I can make my own patterns in less time than it'd take me to get some mailed. It ain't rocket science after all. I've printed out a couple of pictures of the patterns concerned, and eventually I'll get around to laying them out with a small grid. Then I'll eventually get a sheet of plywood, lay out a grid on that, and lay out the patterns on that. I haven't bothered figuring it out yet, but may even be able to get it all on one 4X8 sheet. If not, I'll get another. I figure total cost, less el cheapo white latex paint, will be somewhere between about $12 to $20 using plywood; and $6 to $12 if I opt for OSB. That's for two reindeer.

JOAT "I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth." "Really? Why not?" "I don't know, thur. I didn't athk."

[J T]

Mon, Oct 22, 2007, 2:45pm [e-mail] (Charley) doth sayeth: If you keep this up you may forget how to do "real" woodworking.

You're absolutely right. Time for me to do something for myself, some man's woodworking. Now, do you know where there's a pattern for a

4' tall pukey yard duck? LMAO

JOAT "I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth." "Really? Why not?" "I don't know, thur. I didn't athk."