So explain it, then! (Duh!) A young child has no idea, until it's explained, what ANYthing is! That is why children the world over are CONSTANTLY asking questions, questions, questions as soon as they can string two words together.
NO, IT ISN'T! What a RIDICULOUS statement!
Well, the child obviously *believes* what his or her parents say, because (s)he trusts the parents, but lying to children to save having to explain a fundamental part of humanity is fundamentally BAD practice.
However, your response just shows how far Britain has to go to be in the same league as most other countries in Europe.
Sex education that works starts early, before young people reach puberty, and before they have developed established patterns of behaviour. [refs in article] The precise age at which information should be provided depends on the physical, emotional and intellectual development of the young people as well as their level of understanding. What is covered and also how, depends on who is providing the sex education, when they are providing it, and in what context, as well as what the individual young person wants to know about. [ref in article]
It is important for sex education to begin at a young age and also that it is sustained. Giving young people basic information from an early age provides the foundation on which more complex knowledge is built up over time. For example, when they are very young, children can be informed about how people grow and change over time, and how babies become children and then adults, and this provides the basis on which they understand more detailed information about puberty provided in the pre-teenage years. They can also when they are young, be provided with information about viruses and germs that attack the body. This provides the basis for talking to them later about infections that can be caught through sexual contact. Does sex education at an early age encourage young people to have sex?
Some people are concerned that providing information about sex and sexuality arouses curiosity and can lead to sexual experimentation. However, in a review of 48 studies of comprehensive sex and STD/HIV education programmes in US schools, there was found to be strong evidence that such programmes did not increase sexual activity. Some of them reduced sexual activity, or increased rates of condom use or other contraceptives, or both. [refs in article] It is important to remember that young people can store up information provided at any time, for a time when they need it later on.
When should parents start talking to young people about sex?
Sometimes it can be difficult for adults to know when to raise issues, but the important thing is to maintain an open relationship with children which provides them with opportunities to ask questions when they have them. Parents and carers can also be proactive and engage young people in discussions about sex, sexuality and relationships. Naturally, many parents and their children feel embarrassed about talking about some aspects of sex and sexuality. Viewing sex education as an on-going conversation about values, attitudes and issues as well as providing facts can be helpful. The best basis to proceed on is a sound relationship in which a young person feels able to ask a question or raise an issue if they feel they need to. It has been shown that in countries like The Netherlands, where many families regard it as an important responsibility to talk openly with children about sex and sexuality, this contributes to greater cultural openness about sex and sexuality and improved sexual health among young people. [ref in article]
The role of many parents and carers as sex educators changes as young people get older and are provided with more opportunities to receive formal sex education through schools and community-settings. However, it doesn't get any less important. Because sex education in school tends to take place in blocks of time, it can't always address issues relevant to young people at a particular time, and parents can fulfill a particularly important role in providing information and opportunities to discuss things as they arise. [ref in article]
The world revolves around telling lies. There was an interesting article in yesterday's DM on the subject:
"We would be lying if we said we'd never done it: told an untruth to defend or promote ourselves, to spare someone's feelings or to ease a difficult situation. We teach our children never to do it. Yet the strange thing about lying is that, unlike stealing, sexual abuse or murder, this a moral crime we all commit on a regular basis.
We lie by saying, 'I'm fine thanks' when we're feeling miserable; we lie by saying, 'What a beautiful baby' while inwardly marvelling at its resemblance to an alien - and everyone has faked enthusiasm for someone else's cooking.
Not only do we constantly make exceptions to the rule against lying; sometimes we approve of it. If a doctor tells a bereaved husband that his wife died instantly in a car crash, rather than the truth - that she spent her last minutes suffering horrific pain - we applaud his compassion. We call the lies we like 'white lies', but if we are asked to define precisely what makes a lie white, we soon get lost in contradictions.
I wonder why we bother with nursery schools and primary schools. As very young children are so capable of understanding adult themes we may just as well take three year olds and start them off in sixth form college. They'll be masters of quantum physics by the time they're five...
Of course it isn't to *us*- but to a very young child it most certainly is because they are too young to understand and accept human biology.
No-one is 'lying'. The child believes that that area of the body is the tummy. They baby is indeed inside that part of the body.
I don't accept that European parents differ significantly in the way they speak to very young children as they are developing.
You are NOT telling the child the truth or even anything approximating to the truth. The tummy is the ONE place you WOULD NOT want a baby. And you won't tell the child the truth because you're too embarrassed (opposite a 4-year-old, nota bene!) to explain the various bits in simple language. So, yes, repressed with bells on. Oh, sure, you'll excuse yourself by saying that this is "stuff a 4-year-old child doesn't need to know yet" -- and yet the child will have been the curious one asking questions!
Um, you're confused. The tummy is just the stomach - it can refer to the belly too, and as such "inside the tummy" is an entirely appropriate description. Would "inside the belly" annoy you as much?
And just how do you know it's due to embarrassment? Or do you have a habit of making things up as you go along? And why are you so fixated about this issue?
To a small child, the whole of the lower part of the torso is just the tummy. Explaining in greater detail will just confuse the poor kid.
Just as I was confused when, after an operation, I asked the surgeon what he'd done. He pompously explained in what I have no doubt was quite an accurate and true manner, but couched entirely in incomprehensible medical terms, so I ended up being none the wiser, and felt put off asking doctors for explanations for some time.
M&M obviously has no concept of how a small child, given an explanation it can't understand, will feel intimidated and therefore end up repressed.
I'll bear that one in mind as it comes from someone who "said sex was never important" with regards to his own lifestyle.
Having knobbed my way through well over 300 women and now currently in a relationship where we both enjoy group sex and wife swapping I doubt very much that I am sexually repressed or embarrassed about answering a 4 year olds questions.
Yes, a 4 year old does not need ALL the details - that is BECAUSE they will not understand and there is something special about letting a child have some innocenece. You answer the 4 year old in terms that they understand. I can do that without getting embarrassed or having to give a biology essay.
My girlfriends 7 year old gets all the questions answered he asks about sex but he is still far too young to have ALL the details. Does a 7 year old NEED to know about oral, anal, group sex, STDs etc in detail? When he does ask questions I answer without any embarrasment. He is not embassassed about a naked body as he has seen me and the girlfriend naked on many occassions and he is not afraid to ask questions when he wants to. When he asked about circumcision I showed him my penis, explained what happened in the circumcision and he then understood. There was no giggling or other childish behaviour.
So what went wrong with your childhood sex education that made you give up sex when you were an adult? And why do you want to hide behind a biology book when it comes to a young child's sex education instead of treating them like a child?
Don't be stupid. I know exactly where and what the tummy is, thanks very much. To try and pretend that's where babies grow is foolish beyond measure.
"Your stomach is a short-term food-storage facility. This allows you to consume a large meal quickly and then digest it over an extended period of time. When full, your stomach can hold around one litre of chewed up food."
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