Tell het to hold on with the bacon sandwich

[ARW]

Sorry mate, the van will not start.

[ARW]

Ooops.That was supposed to be an email. Mind you the person it was for will still read it:-)

[Brian Gaff]

Ah well, its the worng kind of heat you know. Brian

[ARW]

[Andrew]

If it caught fire you could do your own bacon.

[ARW]

It caught fire last year.

[spuorgelgoog]

WTH reads usenet at 7.04 am?

Owain

[Huge]

Early risers?

[ARW]

Not me most of the time as I usually on my way to work at that time.

[Jimmy Wilkinson Knife]

Funny, you're the only tradesman I know who gets up before 10am.

[Jimmy Wilkinson Knife]

I set a Renault Espace on fire once (electrical fault [1]) - and the AA guy that came out was scared of electricity. I had to do some of the connections for him.

[1] Renault in their infinite wisdom ran the positive wire from the battery across the top of the radiator fan. When it came loose, the fan chopped it up, shorting it to the chassis of the car. Much smoke and no power at all. The car stopped completely, not even possible to use the hazard lights (I was on the motorway hard shoulder). Then of course no mobile signal, so I'm nicked by the police wandering up a hill through some fields trying to get a signal for the phone to ring the AA, with no hazard lights on, he thought I'd stopped for a piss. When I explained the situation, he produced a spanner from his car (which surprised me) and disconnected the battery before some fuel caught fire. He then waited with me for the AA with his blue lights on as I had no hazard lights. There was quite an amusing debate with the police and the AA over how long it took them to get there. The AA guy accused the police of having too much money to spend, which I agreed with since he was driving a top of the range BMW. The policeman insisted that they were cheaper to run as they were more reliable!

[Mr Pounder Esquire]

Stick to playing with your cat's bollocks Hucker, you sick little f*ck all. You know nothing about working for a living and never will.