Something inside my loo pipe

Bird balanced on the top?

A rat?

Rats. The reason for a lid on the toilet is so they can't see the light and be tempted to enter the house.

I thought they were invented by women, to nag men about once we learned to put the seat down.

The previous time I heard this noise it had made it up to the 'horizontal' section connecting loo to stack so I flushed it away.

He's a good swimmer if its the same one.

WTF harry? Your toilet needs a clean.

Methinks that's a bit of old wife's tale there. Probably your mummy telling you that so you'd put the lid down.

Inside the pipe more likely to be a rat, bird won?t survive for long so unless your three occasions are all close together and recent that possibility is unlikely. But have a close look around the pipe and you may find a birds nest has been constructed or is under construction in the gap between the pipe and wall in which case you haven?t got much to worry about. Also are you sure it is from the pipe? In gutters birds often use them as a food source or nest building supply from the moss/debris that accumulates . Their feet can make a scrabbling noise out of all proportion to their size if the guttering is plastic

GH

They are brilliant swimmers.

I was waiting for one in the garden to give it a lead injection but it spotted me and diverted from the normal trail I was covering and leapt into the pond and swam to the other side under the water where I saw it emerge and get away. Took seconds. They may be a nuisance and a health hazard but there is no denying they have evolved into very efficient biological specimens.

GH

I was called in to release a Robin from our enclosed logburner, recently. 7" flue and Coolie hat cover so what was it doing?

Random inspection of logburner installations?

Building Control signed it off without comment...

Nope. How do suppose rats get into peoples houses? Especially bungalows/downstairs toilets. You can buy a "one way valve" to fit to the sewer to keep them out.

When my wife heard about this, she started putting a brick on the toilet lid as extra precaution.

Too true. Even mice sound like they're much larger animals wearing hobnail boots.

Perhaps, but what did the robin have to say about it?

So, the light manages to travel in the water through the various traps? WTF, do you have a latrine in your bunker? Must be fun explaining the brick on the lid to visitors. Mind you, it'd come in handy for bashing the bastards on the head when the seat is lifted for use and the hordes of rats emerge. Perhaps a Gatling gun might be more appropriate.