A not so regular feature on UK DIY where people put up their most comical q
uotes from scumsville pretend tradesman.
The job is re-hang a common stair door, so it has added juicyness of being
split 7 ways. The self closer is on the door and divots the plaster at ful
l extent, it isn`t actually an issue.
"Unfortunately as its an old door won`t be able to get the self closer to c
lose it to latch, even after rehanging." Kinda missingpoint of rehanging a
door here pal....
so our hero, lets call him Sean Rollo Joinery Ltd gives my white haired Mum
some guff and this spectacular quote.
To remove door and lay aside for re use
To remove existing hinges
To remove existing door closer
To patch/fill door were required
To supply and fit 3no heavy duty butt hinges
To re fit door giving the bottom more clearance
To supply and fit door closer
To cut/grind a hole into the stair wall to allow the door to open
fully and the door closer to sit into the wall
To plaster repair the cut hole ready for decoration.
Comparative is next door replacement exterior blockboard door ,exactly sam
e size over size from domestic , stick on mouldings , coat of paint , less
than stellar job but does latch on its closer ;-) , £400 incl VAT
This piece of pond slime wanted 790 + Vat = £948 nearly a grand for han
ging a, existing, door.
Could go on about roofer Ronald G Graham Ltd who charged £540 for 30 mins
clearing the gutters.
Common repairs licenece to print money.
Any other recent comedy quotes, do name and shame, google likes that ;-)
There should be available a government sponsored non-web accessible
third party that helps vulnerable folks select checked tradesmen,
validates the work, receives the money, helps resolve conflicts and then
pays the supplier on completion.
There should also be a system which stops halfwits ringing tradesmen at
10pm on Sundays with non urgent jobs, tells them that tradesmen don't
work for £5 an hour, can't always fit in with their hair appointments,
shopping trips, bridge clubs etc and helps them describe jobs accurately.
On Friday, December 4, 2015 at 11:39:45 AM UTC, Tricky Dicky wrote:
he job, but will of course do it if you are daft enough to pay what they ha
No, no, Sean Rollup has been on the phone at least 3 times chasing what he
figured at 150 quid a flat.
In meantime one of the neighbours tried `my builder` with predictable resul
ts unfortunately,couple of Tube vids and some tools out the discount store
and ready to go, unfortunately illustrates the problem with these sites, if
your any good you don`t have to pay for leads for small jobs so get left w
ith the Desperate Dan`s:
Replace screws and adjust hinge £40
The screws have pulled out of the wood, the door needs a splice of wood put
in first, not straightforward or for beginners.
The hinges are mounted wrongly ,one is missing, remains are bent and comple
tely worn out on their pins ( they may wear through), adjusting them simply
isn`t feasible any more.
re attach closer £40
Took neighbour all of 20 seconds.
Petrol £10. Total £90
Get a diesel.
Take off door take off old hinges and fit new ones and re hand the door
Refit new door closer £50
Plus you pay for new hinges and door closer and screws
Petrol £10 Total £160
Think our hero in this case has woefully underestimated the job , because h
e simply dosen`t have a clue.
Glad you mentioned Aerial fitters Bill, sure your one of the very few who k
now what they are doing, had at least half a dozen total fuckwits.
Special mention to one caught trying to fill his own cheque out of Mum`s bo
ok and then followed her across town thinking she was going to get cash for
him. Police had a special interest in that one.
Have absolutely no problem with decent people expecting proper reward for a
decent job, have a serious issue with mongrels roaming the streets ripping
Its not confined to trades, `professions` are all at it as well, just read
through a £1500 roof survey where the surveyor recomends he is paid a fur
ther £12,000 Construction Design and Mangement fee to put the jib out for
tender. In his mind it works out at only £500 each per flat in the buili
Had the work conservatively quoted by real builders previously at around
£60K incl VAT , our pal the surveyor , who has some serious howlers demon
starting his complete lack of understanding of flat roofs in his report, ha
s inflated that to around 120,000 to justiy a mere 10%
Scottish Common Repairs are a well known honeypot for rogues at all levels.
I installed a TV aerial for a bloke who insisted on the external
downlead being behind the fall pipe at the left of the frontage. A year
later he rung to say that he'd had new guttering and fallpipes and
because of problems with the drainage the fallpipe at the front was now
at the right end of the frontage, so could I come and move the TV cable.
When I quoted him he went ballistic and said it should be done for free.
Similarly I had a customer who installed one of those old illegal USA
cordless phones, with the aerials a couple of feet from the TV aerial
that I'd installed the week before. It interfered with his TV reception.
I went along and fitted a high pass filter and he refused to pay because
he said that the aerial should have been 'interference proof' to start with.
I installed a satellite receiver for a bloke in his kid's bedroom. When
the marriage failed the kid went to live elsewhere with his mum. The
bloke rung me and asked if I would go to the new house, which was 20
miles away, and make the satellite receiver work. When I got there I
found there was no dish. I fitted one and sent him the bill. He said it
wasn't his responsibility. She said it wasn't hers. I went and took the
dish off the wall and this made the kid cry.
I walked on a flat garage roof taking all proper precautions. The bloke
rung me the next day to say I'd make the roof leak so I'd have to buy
him a new one. He'd got three quotes so all I had to do was write the
cheque. I went round and found he wasn't in, but the garage door was
open. The garage was empty. I took photographs of the utterly rotten
chipboard ceiling, which had many big holes in it where it had simply
collapsed due to the felt being cracked and having been like that for
years. The whole thing was an absolute mess. One of the neighbours came
out and said the man hadn't parked the car in there for years because of
the ceiling. I sent the man copies of the pictures. I didn't hear from
When it comes to not paying the bill, haggling after the job's done, all
that sort of dirty duplicitous behaviour, I've learnt that certain
easily identifiable types of person are best avoided. I won't trade
with such people. If I don't twig it on the phone I just scarper as soon
as I do twig it. I make an excuse and leave.
I would have been tempted to call the local Ofcom engineer and have a
But there again I believe revenge is best served cold. You could then
have gone back and asked for the return of the HP filter as it was no
longer needed :-)
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