Pesky Swedes

[The Medway Handyman]

Hi All

Spent today assembling some IKEA beds. Last thing was to assemble the under bed storage drawers. Held together with those cam lock fittings.

Suddenly realised that instead of 16 cam lock fittings all the same I had 11 that fitted the drawers and 5 that didn't - they were around 1mm too big in diameter.

Checked the instructions ( it was an emergency). There were supposed to be

24 'large' and 16 'small'. The cam dowels were all the same.

Took me 15 mins to hunt down the 5 'small' cam locks in the base units, remove them & replace with 'large' ones.

What is the point of using two sizes of cam locks and one size of cam dowel? An extra 1mm diameter isn't going to add any strength, it just confuses people. Surely more efficient to use 40 the same?

I reckon its a deliberate ploy to get back at us over some imagined slight involving the Eurovision Song Contest myself.

Mutter, mutter...........

[Bob Martin]

they've never forgiven us for naming that nasty yellow vegetable after them.

[Andrew Gabriel]

Well, apparently 1 in 10 Europeans are now conceived on an IKEA bed...

[Andy Hall]

It's all the fault of Ingvar Kamprad. He's one of the richest people in the world, yet flies economy everywhere, takes the underground train or drives an old Volvo.

Therefore, he doesn't see why everybody else shouldn't feel some degree of pain and humility as well.

Why do you think his shops are laid out the way they are?

[Brian G]

Ah! You have now become a fully fledged member of the Flat Pack Assemblers Club by taking and passing the "When all else fails, read the instructions" exam with a distinction. :-)

Brian G

[Owain]

Is that figure available broken down into in-store and at-home conceptions?

Owain

[chris French]

In message , Andrew Gabriel writes

What, the same one?

Having had fingers burnt a couple of time over missing/incorrect fittings on flat pack stuff, I always check through them all and count them up before I start.

[John Rumm]

That mattress must be well soggy by now!

[Ed Sirett]

Firstly assembling flat pack furniture is not the unskilled trivial task that IKEA et al. would like you to believe.

1) The manuals are written in Euroglyphics which like Hieroglyphics is an earlier form of writing that predates the use of the alphabet and mass literacy. You need to be conversant with this language. 2) Every jot and tittle on the instructions can be and may well be significant. Especially in relation to handedness, a single dot can indicate an extra hole or even awl mark which may be the only (currently) visible difference between two parts. 3) Make a complete inventory of the 'giblets' noting especially if there are similar sized parts and where they are used. Very occasionally there are fittings missing, generally the high volume packs/products are reliable but the newer lower volume packs can still have problems. 4) Look over the entire assembly strategy first. Invariably this means putting four sides of a box together (at which point it is very vulnerable to being knocked and strained) afterwards a back is added which stiffens the whole unit, more partial boxes are added later. Knowing where the instructions are going can help a lot. 5) Get the box square using the square edge of the back they supply. Check by measuring the diagonals, the third nail is the crux of the matter. 6) Watch out for Phillips (cf Posidrive) screw heads and use the right bit (and in the right size). 7) On larger items, choose the area for assembly (I once put a wardrobe together on a landing only to find I couldn't put it in the bedroom!). Workout that you have enough room to turn and flip the item over if needed. 8) It is rare for the parts to be completely wrong but it does occasionally happen.

Lastly pre-assembled is bulkier and thus more expensive to transport and you will probably get less for your money.

The most likely explanation for the different rotary cam sizes is that the smaller ones are intended to go in a part which is less _thick_.

[Ed Sirett]

Charging for the items in Euros (which the trolleys will take as deposit) would add nicely to the game...

[Stuart]

Do they have figures for Home and Away ..?

Stuart

[Andy Dingley]

Because I've read Paco Underhill, I know _exactly_ why the shops are laid out the way that they are. Every time I'm in one I silently admire the sheer genius behind them.

The sort of evil twisted genius that hollows out volcanoes, but they're awfully good at it.

[The Medway Handyman]

Now that is a good point. Why on earth to they insist on just pictures? They cannot possibly communicate like the written word.

Tell me about it ...................... grrrr

[Owain]

But unless you can read Swedish ... I don't expect Ikea keep their prices low by wasting money updating multiple language versions of everything when one set of pictures would do.

Owain

[Andy Hall]

They have begin to open branches in the United States......

[S Viemeister]

IKEA, you mean? They've had branches in the US for _years_.

[Homer2911]

Why Euros? Sweden still uses the Krona

[Andy Hall]

That is true, and long may it remain so.

However, for financial purposes, the group is registered in the Netherlands and does its accounting in Euros.

From their annual report:

The IKEA Group is owned by a foundation, Stichting INGKA Foundation, which has its registered office in the Netherlands.

The foundation owns INGKA Holding B.V., which is the parent company for all the companies in the IKEA Group.

The IKEA Group consists of a large number of companies ? from the Swedwood industrial group to the sales companies that own the stores in the various countries.

[Jim Gregory]

It's not a Swede. It's really a Swedish turnip, a Rutabaga, or those Scots call it a Neep (sometimes refers to a Parsnip) when they call a spud a Tattie.

[Jim Gregory]

Now seen it all! A card hung above produce in our local LiDL today said British Swedes XXp per kg (I can't remember their price)